There’s been a lot of changes happening in our house these past few weeks.
First big change is that I’m in my fourth week of full time work-for the first time in over two years! Guys, I’m so relieved and frankly overjoyed to tell you that I love my job, I love my coworkers, I love my schedule, and according to my supervisor I’m doing really well and hitting all the goals she wanted me to hit at this point.
I work with people who are intimidatingly smart. Like most folks have multiple PhD’s in various sciences. But none of them treat me like they’re any smarter than me. Everyone is so respectful and kind, and they’ve given me space but opportunity to learn my job. I still have plenty to learn but I’ve started working on academic papers and research for them and it feels like getting paid to do only the fun parts of being a librarian.
I can wear jeans any day I want, my supervisor is super flexible and understanding about my schedule (she has two kids who are just a little older than Charlie, so she GETS IT), the pay is outstanding….yeah. It’s just a win win. Last week we had a big meeting of everyone in the Tox group. People came from all over the country (we have satellite offices). It was a two day thing and on the second day we did team building exercises that included ziplining. I didn’t think I would do it but everyone else was so, you know, peer pressure. And I’m so glad I did and everyone was so supportive. It’s just a super great place to work and I’m so glad I’m there. I feel like I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.
The other big change is that everyone in my house who goes to school is back in school. Chief is in his last semester and started last week. Charlie started back today. She also started her speech therapy this evening. I really like her therapist. We have the same name and she seems young and competent and Charlie went with her like “hey, this is no big deal.” Apparently for the first few sessions they just sort of play so that Charlie learns to trust her and like her, and then the real work begins.
The therapist did say in her consult after Charlie’s session today that she thinks a hearing test is a good idea because of the frequent ear infections. Charlie’s in the middle of a double ear infection right now. I’ve been back at work for almost a month now and there have been two days that I’ve had a hard time leaving: the first day, and the day we knew she was really sick. She woke up and got in bed with us around 4:00, so she woke up when my alarm went off at 6:00 and was glued to me the whole time I was getting ready for work. If her dad took her she screamed and cried and sobbed. It was awful. I got ready to go super fast (this was, of course, the day of the big meeting where I actually needed to look nice-not zip lining day) and then just sat holding her and left as late as I could get away with. Chief had to pry her off of me and she was hysterical the whole time. I sobbed the first five minutes of my drive to work and was fully distracted all day. It didn’t help that her pediatrician was out of the office so we had to figure out where Chief was going to take her (sidebar: my husband is a competent man but I swear if I had had to hold his hand any more through that process than I already did I was going to lose my mind-CALL THE EFFING INSURANCE COMPANY AND FIND AN URGENT CARE PROVIDER IT’S NOT HARD).
So anyway she’s got another double ear infection. we’re well into antibiotics now so she’s not feeling bad anymore, but I’m ready to talk tubes. I’ve been ready. I’ve got a call in to the children’s hospital to get her hearing checked (they’re very reputable) and will hopefully get that scheduled tomorrow. It’s not like I’m anxious for my kid to go under the knife, but I’ve been afraid for a long time that this is holding back her speech. My pediatrician has disagreed with me on the basis that when she does heal from the ear infections her ears look fine, but I’ve heard too many anecdotes about kids getting tubes and then within days they’re talking to not wonder if that’s part of our problem. So for this one issue I’m glad that I’m kind of skipping the ped. I’m sure if I had sat down in her office and insisted we get a consult she would have done it, but since the speech therapist recommended it I don’t feel like I need to get a referral from our pediatrician and can just go straight to the audiologist.
Finally, I’m struggling with energy levels. Since I went back to work the last few hours of my day are a real challenge. I know that if I were in better shape this would be improved. I’ve started working out again and generally trying to clean up my eating. I’m not a) weighing myself b) counting calories c) taking any measurements of any kind. I’ve generally come to believe that these are unhealthy practices in my life and lead to obsessive and unhealthy behavior. I’m trying my hardest to practice intuitive eating and work out four times a week. My body shape will be what it will be, but I have to get stronger. I have zero core strength and it’s even causing a problem sitting in my desk chair every day.