My breasts are now my mortal enemies

Something my bloggy friends don’t know about me yet is that I am well endowed in the breastage. I mean, ladies, (and probably at least one man out there who really gets off on the idea of having sex with a woman who CAN’T get pregnant) I am STACKED. And not in a way that I’m bragging about. More in a you-may-think-you-want-my-breasts-but-trust-me-you-don’t sort of way. I’ll just come out with it-I’m a 38-40 DDD. Of course, my husband thinks he’s the luckiest man in the world in this respect. Here’s some dialogue from Saturday:

Me: “Honey, does this dress make my boobs look too big?”

Him: (without looking up) “Is that some sort of trick question? I don’t think that’s possible…”

Me: “You’re useless.”

Him: “Love you!”

So anyway, it’s been a real downer to him the past three days that my nipples have hurt so bad that he hasn’t been allowed to even think about touching them. Now normally I would take this as a sign that I’ve ovulated-except they hurt even worse than that. Then I thought maybe I’m somehow pregnant!

Sad, stupid librarian. Of course, negative HPT. But also of course an EXTREMELY positive OPK. At this point I’m not counting on ovulating because it’s freaking cycle day 28 and my follicle was nearly mature (19.36 mm) on cycle day 16. It almost makes me want to stop temping until I get my damn period, but the anal retentive side of me can’t stop. I CAN’T STOP.

My name is librarian, and I’m a tempaholic.

The point is, I’m really pissed off at my lady lumps for leading me astray. I mean MAYBE it’s an ovulation sign, but goddamnit-get it over with already. They’ve been hurting for three fucking days and I’ve been waiting to ovulate for 12 now and every time I get over the fact that it’s not going to happen I get another sign or I stupidly take another OPK. I don’t think the follicle that was there 12 days ago could possibly be any good (don’t they expire? I didn’t see the date stamped on it in the ultrasound but I feel certain they can’t just hang around and be viable forever). I guess another one could have developed. I know that’s possible. And my ovaries still twinge a little occasionally but get off the pot or piss ovaries! And if not leave my breasts alone! They’ve been through enough!


23 thoughts on “My breasts are now my mortal enemies

  1. My boobs have been playing games with me too these past couple of days. It has suddenly got much colder here in the UK and mine also went super sensitive. I am 99.9% sure this is just from sudden shocking cold but the silly 0.1% of me keeps piping up ‘maybe you are pregnant’. I wont be holding my breath. I hope yours are just telling you to get busy and that you are in fact ovulating. I am pretty sure mine are just playing silly buggers.

  2. It has cooled off here some, but not to an uncomfortable level-and my boobs have never reacted that way to weather before (although I suppose there is a first time for everything in the world of IF).

    As a side note, one of our gold medal Olympians just announced on the news that she’s pregnant and was pregnant during the Olympics. It’s hard to be upset about it though. She did win a gold medal, so I guess she deserves it (although she did brag on the news about how fertile she is and how they got pregnant on the first try this time-kill me).

  3. I must say I love your post title! That made me giggle! I am moderately well endowed so cannot boast the impressive rack you have! mine never seem to make up their minds whether to hurt pre or post ovulation and is different every time. If I had a womb this would no DOUBT drive me insane with symptom spotting! 😉

    • It does, and with most symptoms I’ve just written them off, but this hurts damnit! If I have to be in pain I want it to at least be for something. I’m sitting here on my day off at home with a bra on-and if you know me you’d KNOW how wrong that is. Clothing, especially undergarments, are extremely optional on my days off. In fact, I frown upon being dressed more than I have to.

  4. I’m a tempaholic too. I tried to give it up one month and I drove myself crazy. I’m not sure what this says about me. Control freak? Hmmm. Crossing my fingers that your sore boobs means good things!

    • I know-at this point I should really give it up, but if I do happen to ovulate I want to know when it happens.

      At this point I really just want my period to come. I don’t feel like I could still ovulate well at this point, and since the doc said he won’t induce my period until November I definitely don’t want to have to keep the girls off limits to the husband that long-nor do I want to have to feel the pain!

  5. Oh the boobs! They are such liars! Some months mine hurt so badly I don’t want to wear clothes much less let them be touched and others they don’t hurt at all. Never had a positive pregnancy test so my take is that they are liars and confusers! I hope yours give you some relief soon, though.

    Happy ICLW!

    • Ditto to the never had a positive pregnancy test part. It’s just weird that mine usually only hurt after ovulation or when I’m taking progesterone (for the same reason of course), so for them to hurt this much with no clear O on my chart is crazy to me. Also, my nipples are HUGE. I just noticed it last night and I asked husband and he agreed with me, and he normally doesn’t ever notice anything like that. I guess when it comes to his favorite subject he really knows his stuff lol.

  6. I’ve never temped but am thinking that I might give it a shot next cycle (whenever that is – I have PCOS too [fun!!] and never have regular cycles). In the meantime I’m going to give OPKs a go. I recently started a dietary supplement and then actually got a natural period, so I’m hopeful that maybe things will work out… we shall see…

    Anyway, I hope your mortal enemies call a truce soon!

    Happy ICLW!

    • What supplement if you don’t mind me asking? I’m going to start myo inositol as well as melatonin next cycle (whenever that may be…). I’ve read some amazing things about the inositol which is apparently vitamin B-8 and PCOS women. I stumbled upon it on another blog and then googled it and in some studies ovulation has returned in like 86% of the women tested. It’s a natural glucose controller and also helps with manic tendencies (so at the very least maybe it will calm me down!)

      • So you’re taking 4000 mg a day? I had read between 1200-2000, so I’m wondering what amount I should take. I already take 800 mg of Folic Acid a day in my Prenatal Vitamin, but I’m going to start also taking Melatonin because apparently it’s had some good effects of Inositol. The results on your hormones are A-MAZ-ING. I’m crossing my fingers you start ovulating! I’m also going to try the soy isoflavones once I’ve reached my clomid limit (which I feel like was the day I started taking Clomid). So maybe soy, Inositol, melatonin and folic acid will be the answer!

        I’ve seen the powdered inositol-do you mix it with a drink? Does it taste funny?

      • Yup, I take 4g/day, per my RE. It’s also the recommended dosage per the manufacturer (and the same per the American brand Pregnitude [good lord, I HATE that name]). ALSO, a number of the studies I’ve read used that dose in the clinical trials. (You can see the links to those studies in my original post on the RE’s recommendation: – check out the comments too and the EPIC review of my smart friend [and technical writer] SRB on the matter.)

        I never took Clomid – my RE doesn’t like prescribing it to PCOSers – so I cannot commiserate there, but I hear it’s a bitch! I’ve been reading up on some of the other supplements out there, as well, and they seem promising. I need to figure out if I want to add in another…

        Oh, and the inositol is pretty much flavor-less, maybe the lightest sweet taste. I actually mix two packets of the powder in a half-liter bottle of water each night and drink it that way, and it is pretty much tasteless. (I’ve seen that the information on pregnitude in the States says to take it twice a day, but the info here in Spain says you can do either 1 packet/2x or 2 packets once. It’s just easier for me to do the latter and so far no side effects or anything. And I have a weak stomach, so that’s saying something!)

      • That’s good to hear-I have a weak stomach too. Okay I just ordered “pregnitude”-that is the worst name ever. What were they thinking? I don’t want anything with “preg” on it until I’m actually “preg” and the “itude” makes it sound like you’re pregnant with an attitude or something. I wonder if you can take it with something other than water? I like water, but I’m really anti my water tasting like anything, even just lightly sweet. Do you think mixing it with unsweetend tea would be a problem?

        IT’s good to know that your RE is supportive of this. I always feel like any doctor I talk to about supplements is going to think I’m nuts! But I still haven’t ovulated and as it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen I need to try something else, and considering there’s nothing in myo inositol that can hurt you I figure what’s the harm? At worst I waste some money. That’s pretty much what I feel like I’m doing with the Clomid this month.

        Thanks for all the info! I hope I get as good of results as you do!

      • I don’t see any reason why you couldn’t mix it with something besides water, but really it’s practically taste-less. Like with maybe 1 out of every 10 sips from the water bottle I get the very faintest hint of sweetness. It’s really pretty darn insipid.

        I’m excited about my spontaneous period and improved hormone levels. It remains to be seen if I’ll have a normal cycle and (can you imagin!??!) ovulation… I started with OPKs on Tuesday so we’ll see…

        And yeah… pregnitude… attitude? gratitude? fortitude? Lame.

  7. Thanks for leaving a comment on my blog!

    I hear on the big boobs- I have 36DDDs myself. The past week they have been sensitive- I’m guessing from the progesterone that I have been taking. Boooo. I hope you ovulate soon so that you can get some relief!

    • Thank you 🙂 I don’t feel like it’s going to happen. I almost always have a positive OPK so I know my LH is going nuts this cycle. I’m just ready to move on to the next one so I can do another dose of clomid and a trigger. Yay for false positive HPT’s in my future….

  8. Clomid is such a bitch. I hope your cycle clues you in on what’s going on soon. Isn’t that athlete’s partner TTC and possibly having difficulty? I’m sure she loved the announcement.

    • OH man, I hadn’t heard about that! And it’s not like you don’t expect celebrities to “announce” their pregnancies-but no one has to say “I thought it would take me a few months and then it only took me one” on national television.

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