Something my bloggy friends don’t know about me yet is that I am well endowed in the breastage. I mean, ladies, (and probably at least one man out there who really gets off on the idea of having sex with a woman who CAN’T get pregnant) I am STACKED. And not in a way that I’m bragging about. More in a you-may-think-you-want-my-breasts-but-trust-me-you-don’t sort of way. I’ll just come out with it-I’m a 38-40 DDD. Of course, my husband thinks he’s the luckiest man in the world in this respect. Here’s some dialogue from Saturday:
Me: “Honey, does this dress make my boobs look too big?”
Him: (without looking up) “Is that some sort of trick question? I don’t think that’s possible…”
Me: “You’re useless.”
Him: “Love you!”
So anyway, it’s been a real downer to him the past three days that my nipples have hurt so bad that he hasn’t been allowed to even think about touching them. Now normally I would take this as a sign that I’ve ovulated-except they hurt even worse than that. Then I thought maybe I’m somehow pregnant!
Sad, stupid librarian. Of course, negative HPT. But also of course an EXTREMELY positive OPK. At this point I’m not counting on ovulating because it’s freaking cycle day 28 and my follicle was nearly mature (19.36 mm) on cycle day 16. It almost makes me want to stop temping until I get my damn period, but the anal retentive side of me can’t stop. I CAN’T STOP.
My name is librarian, and I’m a tempaholic.
The point is, I’m really pissed off at my lady lumps for leading me astray. I mean MAYBE it’s an ovulation sign, but goddamnit-get it over with already. They’ve been hurting for three fucking days and I’ve been waiting to ovulate for 12 now and every time I get over the fact that it’s not going to happen I get another sign or I stupidly take another OPK. I don’t think the follicle that was there 12 days ago could possibly be any good (don’t they expire? I didn’t see the date stamped on it in the ultrasound but I feel certain they can’t just hang around and be viable forever). I guess another one could have developed. I know that’s possible. And my ovaries still twinge a little occasionally but get off the pot or piss ovaries! And if not leave my breasts alone! They’ve been through enough!