I’m Still Here

I don’t know what it is about 2013 that makes me be a sucky blogger. I felt like I did pretty good in 2012. But this year I feel like I have no time to do hardly anything.

Here are the updates:

I’m down about eight pounds. I’m feeling really good about losing 30 by May 18. That still gives me 15.5 weeks to lose 22 more pounds, which SHOULD be more than enough. After that my next goal will be another 30-50 by Christmas. It just depends on how I feel and how much I decide to ultimately lose. My goal is at least 60, but it could go as far as 80-that would be really small for me though. Smaller than might be possible considering my bustline and my hips.

Today I had a really important job interview for one of the biggest branches in our system. It’s the second highest circulating and has a ridiculous amount of patrons coming in the door every day. I feel like the interview went really well, but I know they are interviewing people from out of state which is serious business. One of the interviews isn’t scheduled until February 11, so I have a long time to wait unfortunately. I’ll probably find out around President’s Day whether or not I got it. I’m not really expecting to, but I feel like I made a good impression on two of the system big wigs (the one’s who conducted my interview), which is also really important for my future here. I’m hoping now I’m at least in their mind so that if this one doesn’t work out, the next one will.

EFIL (Evil Father In Law) FINALLY came and got all of his furniture and crap out of my house. They left some stuff, but not a lot and now I have lots of room for my piano and some other furniture pieces that I had just had to shove into a storage space. He was here for four days which is physically and emotionally painful, but now it’s over. And when they come back in May for a bowling tournament and for BIL’s wedding they’re staying in a hotel THANK GOD. Everything on FB is a post about picking a hairstyle for the wedding and invitations and blah blah blah. It’s ridiculous. She’s only sending paper invitations to people who will be “offended” if she doesn’t. Everyone else is getting a “word of mouth” invite. I’ll let you guys puzzle that one out. My wedding invitations were $7.50 EACH and we still sent them to everyone invited. And they have those invitation kits now that are really cheap. She could send hundreds for under a hundred dollars. I don’t know, I think it’s tacky, but maybe that’s just me.

Other than that there is really no news. We’re not pregnant. Chief is going to the doctor to get checked out next week and he also has a spot on his shoulder that I’m convinced is skin cancer, so I gave him no choice about going for that. He’s a pale skinned freckled ginger, so he’s really at risk and I’m concerned, but hoping for the best. I’ll try to be better about the blogging, since I suck mostly. Maybe February will be better.

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Pictures, Pies, Pounds, Pee, and Perserverance

Thanks for all the compliments on the kitchen! You’d think since it was such a pain in the ass to do I would have been more excited to show it off. Every time I thought about taking pictures it was a mess in there from cooking, so when Chief and I got it all sparkly yesterday I pounced on the opportunity 🙂 Someday I’ll put up pictures of the dining room. It’s not as sparkly clean yet….

In weight watcher’s news guess who is down six pounds?! It’s this girl! I was SO disappointed because on Sunday I weighed and I’d lost less than a pound. Last week I was so good and worked so hard, and I was really bummed to have already hit a plateau. Then the next morning I woke up just feeling lighter and I weighed and it was down another two pounds. I weighed THREE TIMES just to be sure. Knowing that my period is coming I’ve been chugging water like it’s going out of style and Saturday and Sunday I was peeing like crazy. Waking up a few time a night to pee. So I think I must have finally pee-ed out the water weight.

The last two days I’ve had to make pies for family dinner tonight though and that has been a challenge to my determination. Today, for instance, I’m making an apple pie with a white cheddar crust. Y-U-M. It has crumbled up white cheddar cheez-its with shredded white cheddar cheese and butter sprinkled all over the top. This led to me eating a handful of cheez-its. I love them so much, they’re a huge weakness. I also had two pieces of chocolate. But the important thing is that I tracked it all and I still have lots of points left for dinner tonight, so bully for me. After this post I’m going to work out too. I’ve gotten much better about working out regularly. My goal is 28 WW activity points a week. This week I’ve switched to Step Aerobics. Gotta keep it fresh or I’ll burn out quick!

I took another HPT this morning and it was negative. It stings a bit, because now I just have to wait for my period officially. I’ve been having light cramps for three or four days, so it could be any day now. The six pounds takes the sting off though. Six pounds is 10% of what I want to lose. It makes me feel like 30 by May is more attainable than I thought. And I can officially be one of those people to attest to the fact that WW’s works. Being able to eat whatever I want but learning moderation has been completely life changing.

On a sad note, one of my favorite high school teachers died this week. I’m going to her funeral on Friday. She was an amazing woman and helped me make my decisions about what I wanted to be when I “grew up” and what to major in in college. She had been battling cancer for a few years and lost the fight night before last. It’s hard to be at an age where I’m going to funerals more than I ever have. I thought that would come later.

Happy Tuesday Amigos.

I didn’t test today

Because I tested two days ago. And it was negative. I of course did that math that we all do. I was at most 11 DPO when I tested, possibly only 9 DPO. But I don’t feel it. I don’t feel pregnant. Wouldn’t I feel it by now? After more than a year of waiting to feel something-anything? I think I would.

Anyway, que surrah. The way I look at it I’ve only ovulated three times in the last 14 months and while I’ve had 0% success rate, it’s not like I’ve ovulated consistently for a million years and not gotten pregnant. Even still, if I have another 3-4 ovulating months and no prego-ness, Chief is getting tested and he’s cool with that. He may even go before then, just to have the peace of mind or conversely, to know what we’re up against.

The good news is the weightloss is still a-go. I’ve lost over 3 pounds in the last 2.5 weeks. I know. 3 pounds is nothing to write home about. But it’s something. And it could be more than that by now, but my weigh-in day isn’t until Sunday, so I don’t know yet. Last night the Zumba tried to murder me. I was in the last routine and I turned over on my right foot. Curse words were said. Lots of them. I was three minutes from being done so I hobbled over to the couch and ended my work-out early. Tres pathetic, I know. But I don’t allow Chief to be home when I’m hurling myself around the room in a way that vaguely resembles latin dancing, so I didn’t want to risk hurting myself worse if he wouldn’t be around to throw me into a fireman’s carry and cart me off to the hospital.

Zumba

There was one point this week (you’re all about to throw daggers at me, but hear me out) where I actually thought this might not be the best time to get pregnant because I am trying to lose so much weight and get healthy. Don’t get me wrong, seeing a positive test two days ago would have rocked my world and I would have broken out the bon bons and tossed weight watchers to the curb for a year, but at least I have a goal right now other than getting pregnant (since I fail at that miserably). And losing weight is something I KNOW I can do. Having some semblance of control over one part of my life is a big deal to me. And to be honest, if I had started seeing an RE (s)he would have said that the first thing I needed to do was lose weight. I think we all know that that’s true.

I’ve sucked at the blogging in 2013. Mea culpa, mea culpa. I am reading things that you guys write I promise. Just sometimes I don’t know what to say because I waffle between being happy with my lot in life and feeling extremely stuck. But I am here and I still care. And I think you’re all mondo-fabulous.

Just Hanging Around….

Hello Lovelies.

It’s me, Librarian, just hanging around. This week has been difficult at work because of some severe staffing issues. My boss has been sick for three weeks and is finally coming back tomorrow, plus one of my other coworkers got a concussion, plus one of my other coworkers was sick, plus one of my other coworkers had a scheduled vacation for this week. That left me and one other person running the show, which ended up being mostly me, because that one other person doesn’t like making decisions. I will be ready for next week when everyone is back.

On the flip side, WW is still going really well, even being in the TWW. Which, as a side note, I hate the TWW. It sucks and I’m ready for it to be over. Mine is really a 16 day wait because I have a long luteal phase (which is awesome, don’t get me wrong. I’m definitely not looking a gift horse in the mouth). But I’m going to test next Friday which will be somewhere around 11-13 DPO (since I’m not temping I don’t have it exactly pinpointed and I had ovulation symptoms from CD 15-17). Then on Saturday EFIL (Evil Father In Law) is coming to get a bunch of their crap out of our house. He’ll probably be with us through Monday and leave Tuesday morning. I’m glad that Chief is off work on Monday’s, because I’m off work that Monday for MLK Day and did NOT want to be alone with EFIL that day. I’ll be happy that he’s FINALLY getting their crap out of my house. I’m going to have room to move my piano into our living room which is really exciting. It’s shoved back in a bedroom right now so I never play it.

I did do my Zumba the other day, so be proud bleeps. I only got through 15 minutes because I’m pathetic, but it is a start. I’m going to shoot for 20 minutes tonight.

I’m a little stressed about money right now because Chief’s commissions are next to nothing with the cold weather and all. I’m dying for March to arrive and for people to try to start their motorcycles and realize they didn’t weather them properly or that they need tune ups or something. That’s when I’ll feel better about our financials. Or when Chief get’s his military job back. Or when someday I can find a full time gig. Someday.

Hello Two Week Wait

It’s officially here. If the sore boobs didn’t tip it off the insane food cravings always do. I woke up when Chief called me this morning around 10:00 and the thing that I instantly thought was “easy mac-that’s what I want”. I went to the kitchen and stared at a box of Mac and Cheese for about ten minutes, trying to figure out a way that I could eat the entire thing without ruining my day. Once I figured out it couldn’t happen, I satiated myself with a slice of lowfat american cheese. Once I had my cravings somewhat under control I tried to think of a healthy meal that would satisfy the lingering desire for bad stuff and went with scrambled eggs with a little fat free sour cream, a pinch of shredded cheese, and spoonful of salsa. Seven WW points later, I feel better.

Tonight is dinner at my grandparents house and apparently we’re having pizza, but I am prepared. I’ve already figured I can have two slices of veggie without ruining my day at all. I’ll even have a few left over points to spend on something small and sweet after dinner.

TWW food cravings never bothered me before I was trying to lose weight. Then I could eat the jalapeno poppers and cheese sticks with absolutely no guilt. The other downside of this is that I’m having a REALLY hard time getting motivated to work out. My boss is really sick and hasn’t been at work for three weeks, so I’m really running ragged and by the time I get home I’m exhausted. Last night after dinner I took a 2.5 hour nap because I wanted to have sex one more time just to make sure we’d covered our bases and when I came home I knew there was no way to make that happen without some extra sleep. But I’m off today, and I don’t go in tomorrow until 11:00, so there really should be no excuse, right? Right?

So, at least 16 days of food cravings ahead of me-more if I’m lucky. Must cope. Over and out, bloggy friends.

Quick update!

It is CD 15.

My left ovary hurts.

I have EWCM.

Holy. Crap.

If quitting coke, eating more fruits and veggies, and destressing is all its going to take for my body to normalize then you will NEVER see me drink a coke again and I will continue to buy out the produce section.

I don’t have a ton of EWCM, but I definitely have some.

I have never been so excited about bodily secretions in my entire life.

Live long and ovulate friends.