Normal Boobs

Women of the Woeful Womb, I have never had what one could call “normal boobs”.

I had to start wearing a bra with a legit cup (a “B” to be specific) in the fourth grade. I completely skipped the training bra part of life. And I spent most of fourth grade finding ways to go to the bathroom to take that terrible bra off and then put it back on before going home. This is the opposite of how I treated my make-up routine for grades 6-9 until my mom finally told me I could stop sneaking it and just wear it legit like.

And the breasts just kept growing. Like weeds. By ninth grade I was a “DD”. By the time I graduated, a “DDD”-no I couldn’t POSSIBLY have grown tall and thin. I had to be short and stacked. Like pancakes (hmmmm… pancakes). And as I gained weight my breasts got bigger. In January when I started losing weight, I was wearing a 42 H.

I’ve lost a lot of weight in my breasts. When I had lost 30 pounds I went for a measure and was measured at 36 G or 38 DDD, both fit about the same. Well, I’ve lost another 23 pounds since then and I was pretty sure maybe I had lost some more in my breasts. I was hoping to be a “DD” again.

Wrong-o bleeps, wrong-o.

36 D. 36 D!!!

Do you know what this means?! I have normal boobs! I can buy my bras ANYWHERE! I don’t have to spend a mortgage payment every six months on bras! I can wear PRETTY LACY FRILLY BRAS! Guys! GUYS!!!

I have normal boobs.

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6 thoughts on “Normal Boobs

  1. Gah! I’m so jealous! Bra shopping is still a nightmare for me. I have to walk by all the pretty lacy girly bras and go straight to the heavy-duty beasts next to the granny panties and shapewear… On a good day I might be able to dig through and find a white one, a nude one, AND MAYBE even a black one if I’m lucky. I can’t wait until I, too, have “normal boobs” again. I’ll have to buy the laciest, frilliest, most colorful one in the store to celebrate! Definitely good motivation. ;D

  2. Ugh! I’m so jealous. Mine have barely changed at all despite losing over 40 lbs. I was a 40G and I’m down to a 38G now. I too started wearing a bra when I was very young (2nd grade). I was a DD by my sophomore year. I’m now freaking out about getting maternity bras since no one near me carries anything larger than an F in nursing bras in my area. I hate the idea of ordering something I can’t try on. I am so excited for you though! I know how awesome that wiwould feel!

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