How Things Get Worse

I don’t really have a lot of room in my mind right now for elegant writing or maybe even coherent writing so I’m just going to spit out what I have to say.

1. My grandfather is in the hospital. We still don’t really know whats wrong. His blood sugar is way out of wack, as is his coumadin which is what keeps his blood the right consistency so he doesn’t have more strokes. His blood is way too thick right now and they’re having a hard time fixing it. They are unsure if he has had another stroke or not. He does for sure have a wicked UTI. That’s all we know.

2. Last night I found a lump in my right hip and I. am. scared. It is hard, doesn’t hurt, and does not move. I would say it’s the size of a brussel sprout. It feels like a large marble under the flesh. There is no redness or anything on the skin to indicate it could be an ingrown hair or anything. I have called my GP but they can’t see me until April 1. When I asked if any other doctor in the clinic could see me before then they asked the nurse and she said no, that my doctor would want to see me for this, which makes me feel like it’s serious. Last night I fell apart as soon as Chief came home because nothing is good right now. I don’t know what to do anymore.

At this point I’m just existing and if I were a kid I could put my head under the covers and not emerge, but being a grown up really sucks so here I am. I’m not telling my family about this because they have enough to worry about.

Left ovary hurts bad today, so something is happening. I feel like I need to diclose to Dr. T that I have a lump that’s popped up. He may want to cancel this cycle. I don’t know.

That’s all I’ve got.

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12 thoughts on “How Things Get Worse

  1. I had a large lump in my lower back- it turned out to be benign and a sebaceous cyst (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sebaceous_cyst). It wasn’t sticking out of my back but it was a hard lump like you are talking about. I ended up getting it removed with surgery because my doctor thought that it would continue to get bigger. Other than having to go through surgery, it wasn’t that big of a deal. Here is my blog post about it: http://nonsequiturchica.blogspot.com/2010/05/recovering.html.

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