EMERGENCY UPDATE

I just got an email from a friend telling me that she’s pregnant with baby #2 after one month of trying AND that if I would just take her advice and do Yoga I’d get pregnant too-really!

She’s told me to do Yoga more times than I can count. I’ve only confided to my closest friends all the details of our infertility and she’s one of them-why can’t she get it? Yoga will NOT make my endometriosis and PCOS go away. It just won’t. I’m sorry. And why on earth if one of your best friends is telling you how hard things are right now and all the drugs you’re having to take and next measures and etc, why would you say something so stupid? I’m not even upset she’s pregnant. I mean it stings that it’s so easy for her-of course it does. She’s seven years older than me. But good for her-they wanted another one and they have it. I genuinely, GENUINELY hope that their pregnancy goes well, because their first one wasn’t easy and was high risk. But Goddamnit, stop telling me to do Yoga. Just stop.

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21 thoughts on “EMERGENCY UPDATE

  1. Oh, so sorry she is being insensitive and not as supportive as she could be, though I am sure she THINKS she is being supportive by offering advice. But that’s really hard to take.

  2. Nobody was doing yoga in the U.S. before the 70’s, and I’m pretty sure people back then managed to reproduce!

  3. “Yoga more times that you can count?!” Why isnt it “sex more times than you can count”. You cant get pregnant from yoga!!! I cant even say she means well if you’ve shared your journey with her…I have a hard time imagining that she can truly be that insensitive. You’re not a biological underachiever… yoga notwithstanding.

    • And she’ll tell you that she understands what I’m going through because it took then a while to conceive their first one, but they weren’t actively trying most of the time-just NTNP AND her husband travels for work something like 25 days a month. They never saw a doctor for IF. It was all a timing thing for them. So no, I refuse to accept that she “knows what I’m going through”.

      • A friend I’d known since college told me that they knew what I was going through because they tried “forever” to get pregnant and they had to finally use OPK’s to succeed. This was right after I was telling her that my donor egg cycle, that cost us $20000, had failed. I burst in to tears and ran away and she hasn’t contacted me since. I’m hoping its because I made her feel that bad about what she said.

  4. I have a friend who I have confided in a lot about my infertility journey. She has absolutely no desire to have children ever, but about every other month she lectures me on my stress levels and encourages me to do yoga (more often). She doesn’t do yoga….she knows nothing more about fertility than what I have shared with her…..so such advice is silly and not productive. If she didn’t live on the other side of the country I might punch her! Im sorry your friend is so clueless. Its amazing how everyone thinks they have the answers….

  5. Grr I’m so annoyed for you. As if anyone (let alone a good friend) would think you were daft enough to put yourself through awful injections and side effects from drugs when you could have fixed all of your problems with 30 mins each week of downward facing dog!

  6. Arrrrrrrrrrrrggh raaaaaaaaaaage. I’m always happy when someone’s reproductive plans pan out for them. But seriously, NO ONE needs their advice. There are people (in this very thread! probably, maybe!) who have done yoga, clean eating, acupuncture, taking temperatures every morning, “just relaxing”, etc., through to IUIs, IVFs, donors, surrogates, and adoption attempts, and are not yet parents. And there are terrible unhealthy people who fall down drunk and get up pregnant. It’s not fair, and it should show anyone with two brain cells to rub together that sometimes getting pregnant is easier for some than for others, no matter their lifestyle.

  7. People are so stupid. Seriously, if yoga could fix it, we’d all be master yogi’s (is that what they call them?) I’d buy every yoga DVD made. All these RE’s would be out of business, and whoever masters the yoga position that transfers embryos into fluffy non-medicated linings would be richer than hell (and the mental image that just conjured has me in tears from laughing so hard)

    Sorry your friend is an asshole

  8. I love yoga but it is certainly not a miracle cure. I do like that it helped me to clear my mind of stress during TTC and IF stuff but it didn’t get rid of my PCOS. I’m sorry your friend doesn’t get it.

  9. Pingback: Guess who DOES have the ability to send an email? | The Barren Librarian

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