I triggered myself! And Chief was no help at all! Here’s how it went down.
7:00 am: Wake up, make Chief get trigger out of fridge. Librarian gets in shower.
7:10 am: Librarian is out of shower and putting on face. Chief is sleeping.
7:30 am: Librarian is drying hair. Chief is sleeping
7:40 am: Librarian puts on bra and undies. Chief is sleeping.
7:50 am: Librarian assembles all the necessary tools for the trigger. Alcohol swab, guaze, trigger itself, bandaid, and (most importantly in my opinion), the 45 degree angle librarian printed out from the internet and cut out to hold up against her tummy so she could see exactly how to insert the trigger (DON’T MAKE FUN OF ME I’M THOROUGH OKAY GAH)
7:51 am: Librarian “Oh my God, Oh my God. I can’t do this.” Chief finally wakes up “Yes you can, just do it”.
7:52 am: Librarian swabs the area “Chief-don’t look at my stomach fat. STOP LOOKING AT IT.”
7:52:30 am: Librarian uncaps the needle and moves the plunger up. A drop comes out of the top. Librarian panics slightly that she’s lost valuable HCG.
7:53 am Librarian continues to panic some but is running out of time. Inserts needle into abdomen.
7:53:10 am Librarian almost forgets that the most important part is to slowly depress the plunger.
7:53:20 am “Chief, hand me the guaze”, Chief replys “What guaze?” That guaze-right there on the bed.” ” I don’t see it” “GODDAMNIT CHIEF IT’S RIGHT THERE AND I HAVE A NEEDLE IN MY STOMACH AND I HAVE TO HAVE GUAZE WHEN I PULL IT OUT” “I DON’T SEE IT OKAY LIBRARIAN?”
7:53: 30 am Librarian pulls needle out and quickly rips open guaze. Panic was unnecessary as no bleeding occured. Bandaid is applied anyway, just in case.
7:54 am Librarian jumps up and down and cries “I DID IT! I DID IT! YOU WERE NO HELP TO ME CHIEF”
We’re going to make wonderful parents.