It is indeed CD 17, 4 DPO. Whats happening you might ask? Slightly sore breasts (started the progesterone last night, which I’m sure is adding to that), tender ovaries on both sides, some digestive distress. On the other hand, my hair looks awesome, so that’s a win. This morning I was plagued with feelings of doom and “It’s never going to happen”, but I was able to move past it with work and music, so I consider that to be a win as well.
*Steps on Soapbox*
Over at Babymaking Sucks you may have seen this little diddy about natural childbirth and the culture that goes with it. I thought it was so interesting to read, even from the perspective of someone who has never given birth, because I already feel the pressure that this culture puts on us. Even from my own mom who insists that natural is the way to go, it’s not that bad, and women who make it seem that way are wimps. Seriously, her words, not mine. I mean, I love my mom, but if I had it my way I would go the Twilight Sleep route. I want a baby, and if there is some sort of contract I have to sign saying I’ll do it au natural to make it happen, then I would have signed that contract yesterday, no, two and a half years ago.
But that contract doesn’t exist. The funny thing is, if I actually get pregnant and get to the point of giving birth, then it’s nobody elses damn place to tell me how to do it (except maybe my doctor). But women ALREADY brag to me about how they went natural and that I should as well when the time comes. One of my friends was on facebook an hour after her baby was born talking about 19 hours of completely drug free labor. She said she was a “beast” and a “warrior” for having done it. Okay….are you saying that all the other women who ALSO carried a baby for nine months but opted to not be in pain during labor are less than you? Are they not warriors as well? Does one day of drugs take away nine months of hard work? Hells no. I call bullshit.
I don’t think that this is just a natural birth vs. epidural birth issue (heaven forbid you opt for a c-section). I know I’m not the only one out there who will say that it’s also a mother vs non-mother issue. For SOME women with kids, if you’re not a mom then you don’t understand. You’re wrong. Your thoughts on what you want for your life are irrelevant because you have no kids. You’ll see someday. Even if you’re pregnant or trying to become pregnant and you dare to say to a mother that you want a c-section, or to use formula instead of EBF, they will instantly let you know how wrong you are. Don’t worry-once you are IN labor you’ll get it. Once you HAVE kids you’ll understand. It’s a superiority issue that is hard to comprehend, and quite honestly, impossible for me to accept. I feel it from my friend who preaches at me that Yoga is the way and the path to babies. For goodness sake, I sometimes feel it from my own mother.
What’s the point of this soapbox rant? It is me formally telling you all that if I ever get pregnant and have a baby I will NEVER give unsolicited advice or tell someone how they should do a thing unless they explicitly ask me. I will NOT be that person who says “You’ll change your mind when you have kids” EVEN IF I’M THINKING IT, because I know how much it sucks to be on the receiving end. And if someone comes to me with fertility problems I will hold their hand, tell them I understand and that it sucks, and ask them if I can help them in anyway. Basically, I just pledge to be as good a person as I can be, because that is a whole hell of a lot more important than feeling right all the time.
*Jumps off soapbox. Probably falls and skins knee*