Y’all, my last post was DUMB. And I feel dumb for posting it. There is nothing wrong with me. I can be such a jerk sometimes. I have to refocus and remember that there are people who have it A LOT worse than little ole (possibly hormonal) me. People in my community. Even Captain is having a rough day. So I’m going to tell you about two blessings that have come my way in the last week.
1. We had our big festival as I mentioned previously last weekend. I have this wonderful group of people I know through one of their members who do LEGO displays. Like big ones. And they LOVE to come to the library and do these displays for the kids. They put months of work into them and stay with us all day. For free. And then they ask if they can come back and do it for us again. It always floors me how generous they are. This is the second time we’ve had them and I really like them.
One of the ladies in the group brought her two kids with her. Her husband is also in the group. At one point I was bragging on how good her kids were, and how they were participating in programs, and just how lovely they were and how lucky she was to have them. She then turned to me and said “you know, we’ve only had them for two years. We adopted them from foster care.” And then she just looked at me. And I knew.
So i said “you know my husband and I have talked about that, because we’re having a hard time having children.” And then she completely opened up to me that they had been through the same thing. Multiple IUI’s, multiple IVF’s. No success. They went to the Bad Fertility Clinic in town, but she said she actually had a great experience with one of the doctors. He’s the one I had an appointment with and cancelled. I still feel like my doctor is the right choice, but I guess WORST case scenario I could maybe go to the bad clinic. Let’s hope it doesn’t get that far.
Anyway, she was so kind to talk to. I mean, she GET’S it. From real life experience. She understands how hard it is-it’s still hard for her. We were both tearing up as we talked about it. And at the end of it when we both had to get back to work she hugged me and said “I’m going to pray for you, if that’s okay”. Blessing #1.
2. Yesterday I had lunch with a good friend of mine who works on another floor of the library. She is one of the people that I’m very open with about my IF. She has a two year old who is precious (and a surprise). She had a very traumatic delivery after going into preeclampsia. They had to pump her full of steroids to get her baby’s lungs to develop. Anyway. She is probably the nicest person I know without being annoying about it (some people are just too nice). Y’all, this girl has sat on the floor of my office and rubbed my feet because she believes in that whole-body-connection stuff where if you rub one part it helps with the other. She’s just amazing.
So anyway, during yesterdays lunch we were talking about my appointment with the RE and about Yoga girl, because she knows about that situation. I was trying to be mostly positive because I have to believe that the RE is going to help. And I looked over at her and she was CRYING. CRYING. In public, for me. And I said “Oh my gosh-what’s wrong?!” And she said “I just really want you to get pregnant”, and had to cover her face a cry a little. I couldn’t believe it. I felt terrible, because I thought I had said something to trigger this, but she said that she cries about it at home sometimes because she loves me and wants me to be okay. I was just stunned.
I thought I was the only person who cared enough about my IF to cry about it.
So in short, I am extremely blessed. I generally believe that we control our own destinies and what happens to us, but I also believe there has to have been a higher power in play when I met these two, strong, amazing women. And I feel very lucky that they are a part of my life.
Take that gloomy Thursday.