Blessings come with curses

Preface: I’m not upset, really even a little bit. I’m more darkly amused than anything. Sarcastically. Caustically.

Yesterday I wrote about those amazing women in my life. So grateful for those ladies, really.

But some of you may remember the My-Uterus-Isn’t-Broken-Girl (I should really shorten her name.)

Anyway, a few days ago she posted that thing about wanting to be a surrogate because she just “loves being pregnant!” And you know, clearly, her uterus isn’t broken. So she can do that sort of thing. Gag.

Then this morning I get in my car and turn on the radio. I listen to radio in the morning for traffic and the goings on of town, and then my iphone in the afternoon. It’s a routine. I like it. Anyway, the DJ’s were talking about oversharing on FB and the guy DJ said that someone on his FB had apparently posted pictures of their placenta (by the way, I WILL judge you if you do this) and he just felt like that was too much. Agreed. I heard about twenty seconds of them talking before they took a caller. Hear that IFLB’s (infertile lady bloggers)? 20 seconds-probably less honestly, I was hardly down my street when I heard her voice.


So they said “Hey you’re on Blankety Blank Radio Station-have you seen placenta on facebook?”
And she says “No, but I did encapsulate my placenta!”
Male DJ says “Of course you did (sarcastically), did you also bury some of it in your garden”
And she says “No I didn’t rip off a hunk of it and bury it in my garden (thanks for that visual) but you know, pregnancy is just such an amazingly transformative experience that unites ALL women and I think it’s okay to share that.”
Male DJ says “Did you have a water birth or something?”
And she says “No, but I did have an all natural birth in the hospital and I’m proud of that. Giving birth is amazing and it SHOULD be shared”
Lady DJ says “Amen to that! Post about your pregnancy this morning on FB and tag our page in it”

Guys. GUYS. First I’ll acknowledge that Male DJ was sort of a jerk (although I loved him for being a jerk to someone I don’t like). Whatever things you want to do when you give birth are fine with me. As long as it’s not hurting anyone, go for it. That being said, there ARE some things I don’t want to see on FB, infertile or not. But seriously? Transformative experience for ALL women? Really? ALL of us? Can I punch her in the face now?

The only reason I’m probably not upset is that he DID make fun of her. And she sort of looked like a crazy person. I mean, she really did some across that way. Her views may not be crazy (again, personal choices), but I feel oh so slightly rewarded that that’s the way she came across looking, at least to me. This makes me sound like a bitter infertile, but I don’t care. I don’t consider myself to be a bitter infertile yet, but to this person (and probably to Yoga girl), I am. Because they just piss me off. The end.

Also, thoughts on this-WHAT THE HECK DO I WEAR TO MY FIRST RE APPOINTMENT? I keep thinking of it like a date. Like, I’m considering curling my hair. I think subconsciously I want to look like someone who takes care of herself, which I am. I’ve taken the whole day off (finally decided yesterday), so I could easily wear sweat pants and a t-shirt. But I don’t know, first impressions and what not. It seems important. So I’m thinking lightweight flowy dress that I feel pretty in. Wedge heels. Maybe curled hair. Light make up (pretty much my normal make up routine). Am I overthinking this? Probably, yes. Can I stop? Probably, no.


24 thoughts on “Blessings come with curses

  1. That chick is such a narcissist. “Look at me! I’m wonderful! Appreciate all that I do on behalf of womanhood! Aren’t I a perfect exemplar of said womanhood!?” To the point of calling a radio station!

    But hey, that just means she opens herself up to ridicule for thinking everyone should do as she says. I would’ve been laughing the whole drive.

    • Narcissist is a good word. I’d been trying to figure out just what her deal is-but that’s totally it. She’s found something she can do (because apparently there isn’t anything else, last I heard she’d gotten kicked out of school for grades) and she is running with it, probably to cover up her own insecurity. Now I feel a little sad for her. But only a little.

      • My husband comes from a long line of narcissists (thank goodness he’s broken the chain!), so I get to see a lot of them in action. And it’s definitely a cover for insecurity–it’s a way to take control and keep the focus. Except they don’t realize how alienating it is. Welp, at least she has her perfect uterus to keep her company!

  2. She sounds like a dick. Screw her “ALL women” what a bitch.
    As for you my lovely, this is exciting!! I must say I giggled at your wanting to look nice for your RE, I didn’t even shave my legs hahahaha!

    • I need to shave my legs for sure-that’s why I’m in jeans today! I cut myself shaving really badly last time (like, the worst cut I’ve ever gotten after 13 years of shaving my legs) so I’m trying to let it heal before round two!

      And she is a bitch. I just read her comment on their FB page and she was all “I just love all things birth related and truly don’t believe that there is ANYTHING that can be overshared when it comes to pregnancy! It’s natural!”

      I want to hit my head against something, very hard.

  3. I agree with the narcissist comment. Also, my friend described giving birth to her first son as feeling “violated”. Birth is not a lovely Hallmark sentiment and anyone who says it is is lying and in denial. I hate this girl and I don’t even know her.

  4. I love it! She was asking for it, so I’m glad the DJ gave it to her. She sounds like a joke.

    I pick out nice outfits for the RE’s office. Today i wore my one nice piece of jewelry for my IUI, made sure all body parts were tidy, and picked out colorful socks to wear. It’s the little things I can control!

  5. That girl sounds like a piece of work. When I had my first RE appointment I wanted to make sure I looked mature enough for him to take me seriously. I’d had my family doctor tell me over and over that I’m “young and healthy” and that “these things take time” so I totally dressed to look older than my 28 years lol… I wore my “Take me seriously and give me a baby” outfit. Good luck at your appointment 🙂

  6. I just found your blog last week – but I’m in love with your writing! This post had me busting a gut, and hating that chick right along with you. My first RE appointment I was sure to shave (didn’t need to) and wore something “responsible”. I hope Monday’s appointment goes well!

  7. That’s ridiculous. How do people not even realize how self-centered they are? I just want to throw all of our IF shit right in their faces. In a completely rude and insane way, maybe just to shock them into realizing that not everyone is completely normal. There are other stories. There are serious struggles out there. About a lot of different things. Also if I ever, ever see a placenta on FB, I will absolutely not be able to control my reaction.

    • I’ve noticed lately that i”m feeling WAY more combative about my IF. When people are insensitive it REALLY makes me want to find a way to make them see how terrible they are. I don’t know if this is a good thing or not….

  8. I had my IVF consultation with my RE yesterday and changed my outfit twice. So glad I’m not alone. My first outfit wasn’t feminine enough and my second was too warm (I get hot when I’m nervous). Have a great weekend!

    • I had a dream last night that I woke up 45 minutes before my appointment (it’s 20 minutes away at least!) and went into a panic trying to get ready and wash my hair in the sink-it was awful!

  9. First of all, that chick is actually insane, trust me, I googled it!

    Second, I love the fact that you’re treating your RE appt like a first date!

    • She is insane. Yesterday I put up a picture of me with my dog and I’m wearing a harry potter shirt. someone commented that they loved it and I said that a harry potter tattoo is the only one I’ve ever considered getting because I love it so much (specifically “Always” with the A being the Deathly Hallows symbol”, over my heart, under my left breast area) and then she (insane girl) commented “Me and so and so (another friend of mine I actually like/love) are getting matching deathly hallows tattoos! Feel free to join!”


  10. I really have no words for that woman…you are amazingly strong to be able to put up with her as much as you’ve had to do.

    Oh yeah, the outfits…like you and another commenter said earlier, it’s the only thing I can control at all, because once I reach the office, a lot of other stuff I value in life goes up in the air. I have to admit, I’m a little relieved I’m not the only one who does this. When picking out the outfit, I add bonus points if I can find jewelry that I can fiddle with (nervous habit) without it looking awkward :)!

    In all seriousness though, I hope the appointment goes well.

  11. Pingback: Multicultural Friday with the Barren Librarian! | The Barren Librarian

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s