Five Weeks

Ya’ll, this is going to be a long first trimester. (Please be a long first trimester).

I remember these past few years reading blogs of the lucky ones who got pregnant. They were immediately stressed, worried, waiting for any sign of impending doom (I can’t even SAY the “M” word). And I always thought “What is WRONG with them?! They finally got what we all want! Why can’t they just be happy?!”

I. am. eating. my. words.

Because I am so, so, so over the moon happy. And a lot of the time I feel very confident that this is going to be okay. I’m 26, I’ve never had an “M” word before, my uterus looked good at my HSG and this cycle was textbook perfect, other than ovulating a little lateish at CD 18.

And yet.

I still spend way too much time researching “M” word rates. In all sorts of ways: by age, by week of pregnancy, by medical condition, by fertility drug usage, whether or not you stay on metformin, on and on and on.

And I just have to stop. And if you’re out there doing it you have to stop too. I am doing EVERYTHING I can to keep this going. I am taking the progesterone. I am taking the met. I am watching my food intake for high sugars or any toxic substances. I have given up on Zumba. I am sleeping like a fiend. I am not taking drugs for this ear infection I’ve picked up (although I will say that I tried the warm apple cider vinegar trick last night and it feels much better today).

I just NEED to get to 6w2d so I can see our Junebug on the ultrasound machine, and most importantly, see their little heart beat.

I am five weeks today. Only 9 nine days to go until ultrasound #1.

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22 thoughts on “Five Weeks

  1. I did the google thing early on and you are right, it doesn’t help. There is NOTHING you can do at this point. Just try to enjoy the fact that you are pregnant and think positive thoughts! 🙂

  2. Yep, you are so, so right! And it is such a weird transition time going to the “other side” – from a struggling infertile to an infertile who managed to actually get prego. Just keep doing what you are doing and try to trust your body. That really is all you can do at this point. BTW, I ovulated either on CD17 or 18, and I’m now just 3 1/2 weeks to my due date with everything having going totally smoothly (other than the fact that I’m miserably uncomfortable!)

  3. I was the same way until I saw and heard the 2 heartbeats at my 6 week appointment last week and now I don’t have a fear in the world (other than losing my job because this morning sickness is KILLING me!). You will be just fine, hang in there!!

      • Not a single one of my girlfriends who have had children had ANY morning sickness and they all have healthy, beautiful babies. Everyone is different and lucky me ended up being one of the unfortunate souls who can barely even move!

  4. I cannot imagine what it would be like to be pregnant in this era. I was pregnant with my son 20 years ago and it was different then and still as scary loving on this little bean when you barely even seem pregnant. I had people who told me not to say anything until the beginning of the 2nd trimester. I wanted to shout from the rooftops that I was expecting after all we had gone through to get there but at the same time I was so worried to lose this precious little bean. Imagine a time when Dr. Google didn’t exist and all you had to refer to was What to Expect When you are Expecting. In some ways it was a lot easier. I had one blood test back then and did one POS. My first ultrasound was at 8 weeks. My how times have changed. Enjoy this time, turn off Dr. Google as it really isn’t going to help you. Love your little bean like no tomorrow. Someday in the future you might be able to look back over the past twenty years and wonder where it’s all gone and be able to offer this advice to someone else who is just starting out with this awful thing called infertility.

  5. Oh yes girl…STOP the googling. LOL! As a man thinkith in his heart, so is he. So think only positive, happy thoughts of a beautiful and healthy baby in 35ish more weeks 🙂 xo

  6. Oh my the first trimester goes FOREVER. Even when you don’t struggle to conceive. Trust me. I spent my whole first trimester in the loo looking for blood on my knickers. I kid you not! Oh and I ovulated on CD18 for my successful pregnancy too. No big deal here. Good luck!

  7. I was convinced between every. Single. Ultrasound that something was wrong. For me it was a whole cycle. Have us, feel elated for a day, maybe 2, then get progressively worried until the night before the us, when I’m in a full out panic. I’m not sure that this goes away.
    Try to enjoy your pregnancy as much as possible. Much easier said than done!

  8. The fear never goes away. It’s horrible and something that those of us that go through IF have to deal with. It wasn’t until I held my son in my arms that I finally was able to breathe a sigh of relief that he was actually here and then the worry started all over again just because now I was a mom to this adorable little boy that I had to protect from the big bad world. I cant wait for your ultrasound!!

  9. I understand, but you really do need to stop Googling. ❤ It IS stressful, but the more relaxed and calm you are, the better for the baby. I know you know this. I am fighting that battle as well. I'm excited for your first ultrasound! 🙂

  10. That was such a scary time for me, too. I kept poking my boobs (while sitting on the reference desk, I’m sure my students were amused) to make sure they were sore. One day they weren’t and I flipped out. They were sore again the next day and all was well, but man it just messes with your mind.

    Sending you calm and reassuring vibes and wishes for time to pass quickly until the u/s

  11. You got this. NOT that I could have taken my own advice (I’m as superstitious as they come w/r/t pregnancy, the M word, etc.) but do your best not to focus on the Doom. It will be all OK, because I said so. 🙂 Congratulations!

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