There is a reason that I always say that facebook is for cat pictures and whimsy, and cat pictures are usually FULL of whimsy, so in my opinion, facebook is for whimsy and whimsy.
At any rate, a coworker of mine (I’ve mentioned her here once or twice) put up on my wall last night that my husband needed to know that babies are born with jewelry in their hands. Basically she was saying that Chief needed to get me a push present.
I have nothing against a push present. But it’s also not something that’s important to me. I think it can be a lovely gesture if you can afford it, but my financial situation is not such. I mean, sure, Chief could spend $500 on something for me and I could take a few less weeks of maternity leave, but no-that’s not what I want. And I don’t want him to WORRY about it. And you know, facebook is a public arena, so it’s not like he wasn’t going to see it.
I was super nice at first. I just said that Chief and all he does was all the gift I needed. I also said I didn’t want him to stress about something unnecessary when having a baby is so expensive. Then a couple of other ladies chimed in with what their husbands got them-diamond necklace, ipad. But the original poster kept egging on with “You’re giving him a gift-you deserve one too” or “It’s never going to be all about you again, let him stress about it.”
I finally had to shut her down in a maybe not nice way. I just said I didn’t want him to stress about it, and that would NOT make me happy. Then I went on to say that Chief works two jobs, is a full time student, and right now is in the middle of 13 days straight at work. 13 days straight y’all. That’s what happens when you’re full time national guard. You’re there Mon-Fri, and then one weekend a month you’re there on a Saturday and Sunday as well, but guess what-it’s not like they give you two days off during the week to rest.
My husband works hard. And that is enough for me. And for that matter, she doesn’t know our financial situation and probably shouldn’t pretend like she does.
Anyway, after I shut her down, she instantly posted something about people not having a sense of humor and being self-important, which I’m sure is about me. I’m not trying to be self-important. I’m REALLY just trying to keep my husband from feeling like a failure, because he absolutely is not.
Another lady I know who typically gets on my nerves but knows about my infertility treatments (which, BTW, the original poster does as well) went on there and said that with her second child she wasn’t worried about a push present, because they had suffered a miscarriage between her son and daughter and she was just so grateful to have her. She said she was sure that I felt the same.
And she absolutely is right. I’m giving Chief a gift? Like I’m not getting a gift too? Charlie is the most amazing gift we’re ever going to receive. Our FAMILY is my gift. If that makes me “self-important” then crown me Queen of Self-Importantia, because that’s fine with me.
Again, this isn’t to put down people who do get push presents-I think it’s lovely, really. It’s just not a priority for me because we don’t have that kind of money laying around. We’re lucky we were able to afford the IUI. We’re lucky we’re going to be able to (hopefully) afford my maternity leave and Charlie’s daycare. But it’s something I stress over DAILY. So a shiny necklace isn’t necessary to me. And I really don’t want Chief to think that it is.
So there’s my current pregnancy aggravation. People who think they’re an expert at MY marriage.