Grandma Battles

Last night I think my mom and I had our first tug-of-war over Charlie stuff.

We were talking on the phone while I was driving home about some winter weather that may or may not be moving into our area (as a sidebar, I typically HATE winter weather. I never wish for it. But I WANT it to come on Monday, because that’s our staff training day. We USED to get to take President’s Day off, and then they decided we all needed to sit in a room together and do Yoga and judge dessert contests, so now we have to come to work-I kid you not. I’d love to be off with Chief that day). Then we went off in another direction of conversation and starting talked about the firm where we both work (if you don’t know, I’m a part-time law librarian for about ten hours a week on top of my full time gig at the public library-my mom is the bookkeeper at the firm).

Every year in July the firm sponsors a night at the ball park for all of the employees. You can bring your whole family and they provide everything. It’s a sweet gesture. This year it’s mid July. My Charlie girl is due June 23rd. My mom said that she was sure I wouldn’t feel up to coming, but if I wanted she could take Charlie.

Okay, there are several things I don’t like about this:

1. At three weeks old, I can’t see any way that I’ll want to be separated from my infant for more than a few minutes.

2. July where we live is like surface of the sun hot. Easily 110 degree days and sweltering 80-90 degree nights.

3. Charlie will be so susceptible to EVERYTHING. And with a measles outbreak there’s just no way I want her in a crowd when she’s that tiny. We haven’t had any cases in our state yet, but I’m pretty paranoid about it.

So I basically said all of these things-it’ll be too hot, and she’s still too little and weak immune system wise at that age to be in a crowd of thousands of people and passed around to all the secretaries at the law firm.

My mom said “Oh librarian, you’re already being too overprotective. It would be fine.”

Umm no. I think I’m being just protective enough honestly. Three weeks is too young for an outing without mom. Period. Unless I’m crazy sick and Chief needs to take her to the doctor or something. But definitely not to a baseball game.

She pushed back for a little while before she finally gave up, but I hope this isn’t setting a precedent. I know she’s already excited to show off her first grandbaby. I told her that I’d bring her up to the firm to visit while I’m on maternity leave. But a whole night at the ball park? I think not.


24 thoughts on “Grandma Battles

    • I’m hoping she’s not too late and my OB assured me he would induce if we made it to 41 weeks. My mom’s first baby came a few days early-I’d be okay with that 🙂 But I fully expect her to be stubborn and want to hang out in there.

  1. I agree with everything you said 100%! You definitely won’t want your 3 week old going anywhere without you. I’m kinda surprised your mom would think you would be ok with that.

    • Me too! I mean, I obviously trust my mom, but if everything goes as planned I want to nurse Charlie as exclusively as possible, which would be sort of difficult if she was away from me for multiple hours. I know I’ll have to pump some and of course I’ll pump a lot when I go back to work, but at three weeks I want to nurse her as much as I can.

  2. You are so right! Way too young and like the other commenter said likely to be younger with firsts often late! You are so not over protective. Your mum will come round. Your kid, your rules.

      • It’s mainly stupid stuff. We don’t have an NFL team in our state, but most of the state are fanatical about the university football team. They treat them like they’re pro’s. Even people who didn’t go there are obsessed with them. My dad is one of those people. Chief and I went to different universities and we support NFL football (professional, not college). Anyway, my dad keeps saying that anytime she’s in HIS house she WILL be wearing clothes from his favorite football team. I personally DON’T want to push that on her because it’s not a part of OUR (as in Chief and I’s) family culture, and I feel like my dad’s obsession with it is unhealthy. He’s also talked to me about getting rid of my pets which is obviously not going to happen. It’s just annoying mostly.

  3. Ummm, no. Also there is a HUGE growth spurt around 3 weeks, and she will basically be eating without stopping for hours — if youre planning to breastfeed, no way she’ll be able to be away from you for more than 30 minutes.

      • oh geez, that’s exactly what i tell my families NOT to do! walk around to get fresh air, un-crowded parks, small mommy & me groups when they’re at least 6 weeks old – all OK. grocery stores OK if not at busy time and you keep baby in a carrier with a light blanket covering. malls, games, church – NO 😛

  4. PCOSer here and I had HUGE supply. People vary so don’t have any expectations any direction.
    Your mother is insane to suggest she will remove your baby from your presence. She is also super excited and thrilled and that part is great. Ignore her suggestions about her taking the baby places without you.
    PS: I did not intend to be pushy re the sugar thing and getting a monitor but really facts make it all easier for bright people like you ~ just like weight control is easier when you have a scale and use it and can see the impact of your choices.

  5. I definitely see where you are coming from. Tiny tots are susceptible to so much and Charlie is still going to be relying pretty heavily on you. I am shocked to be honest that your mom of all people would think that this would be an acceptable solution. Even though you trust your mom, she should know that you wouldn’t want to be separated from your daughter that long that soon after birth.

  6. No way would I want my tiny baby at a ball park heat or no heat! I took Tru when he was 8 or 9 months and it was a mistake. I missed the whole game after the first 15 minutes or so. He was hot and cranky and I was exhausted trying to walk him back and forth in the food section….

  7. Don’t worry, we didn’t take Jax out for grocery shopping (let alone an outing like that!) until he was at least a month old! We even missed my sister in law’s wedding because he was just so little and we were worried. Yes, she’s just being a Grandma and wanting to show Charlie off ASAP, but you have valid concerns and when it all comes down to it, Charlie is YOUR child, not hers. We have had this same struggle with both of our parents and I don’t see an end in sight LOL

  8. Stand your ground. At three weeks Charlie will still be eating on demand with no schedule what-so-ever. Frankly, if you are bf you may still be working out the kinks of latching. Being away from you for a couple of hours? Nope. The first time I was away from Izzy for a couple of hours was when she was about 2 months old. I had already started to pump and she would take a bottle so she stayed home with my husband. I didn’t take her out too much for the 3 mo I was on maternity leave b/c 1. it was in the middle of the polar vortex and at times -20 or -30 below; 2. It was cold/flu season. I didn’t even go to the family Christmas when she was a month old because I didn’t want her around tons of people.

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