MIL Rantings

Ugh. Y’all. My in-laws.

I’m just going to dive right in. Despite the fact that we have owned our house, that used to be their house, for THREE YEARS, AND despite the fact that they haven’t lived in our house, that used to be their house, for over FOUR YEARS, my in-laws STILL get mail at my house. And not just that junk mail that’s impossible to deal with, but important stuff. Like effing tax forms. I have to keep a bag at the front door to stick all their junk in. They frequently say to me when they’re going through it that I can just “throw out the junk.” Um, no. I’m sorry. I’m not SORTING your mail anymore than I already have to.

But I digress.

They got some tax forms at our house. Chief had to dig through their mail bag last week and find it, and then he scanned them in to send to his dad. He didn’t do this as timely as his dad would like, but SORRY, my husband was sort of off BEING A HERO and saving people from winter weather.

Then we get a call from MIL last night pissed off because apparently Chief’s dad had lost the email or something. So she needed Chief to send it again. That’s fine, but Chief can only access his work email from work, because it’s the military and they keep that shit locked down. So he told her he’d do it first thing in the morning. Cue some more moaning. Then she goes on to complain about how Chief’s dad never does anything around the house, and their bills are getting bigger and she has to pay all of them, and all Chief’s dad does with his retirement and disability money is buy alcohol and cigarettes, and on and on and on.

And I know that that is FRUSTRATING. I don’t know how she stays married to him. I know she needs to vent. But then she went on to talk about how SIL who I thought I was on better terms with since the Christmas pregnancy debacle is coming down to our area to visit for a week and then is going up to visit MIL and FIL for a few days, and oh isn’t that nice? She’s just such a sweetheart.

And sure, that is nice. I guess. I would never visit MIL and FIL without Chief there, but we all know she’s the better daughter in law (there’s a new one-DIL) than me.

But here’s where I feel bothered (well, one of the reasons). I thought SIL and I were on good terms now, and she hasn’t even mentioned to me that she’s coming for a visit. I’m telling myself that maybe she can’t handle seeing me visibly pregnant, and by May I will be huge. That’s what I’m telling myself. I’m trying not to think about her and my MIL gabbing about how awful I am like they did at Christmas.

The OTHER thing I feel bothered about is that MIL never asked Chief once about the baby. Not one thing. I couldn’t care less that she apparently doesn’t given two rats patooties about me at this point, but goddamnit, this is her grandchild. This is her first born son’s first born child. That should mean something to her. She hasn’t asked in the two months since we last saw them. FIL has. He’s on FB so he keeps up with me. Despite his many flaws, he at least acts excited about Charlie. But I am not the person they wanted Chief to marry, so this grandchild will never be good enough for her. Just like my sister and I were never good enough for my dad’s mother because my mom wasn’t Catholic.

And this doesn’t hurt me. I KNOW she hates me. I know I’m not good enough. But it hurts Chief. Last night was the first time that he admitted it and I have never seen such pain in his eyes. It’s not fair. Parents shouldn’t cause their children pain. He was so excited about telling his folks at Christmas, and that all went to hell. And I sort of understood them not acknowledging the pregnancy much then to try and be sensitive to the extremely sensitive ones. But unless my SIL is listening into MIL and Chief’s phone conversations that defense doesn’t fly.

So I’m frustrated, and I’m upset on behalf of my husband. And I feel so lucky that my parents who are definitely not without flaws DON’T act that way.

Unhappy Wednesday, Womb Warriors.


13 thoughts on “MIL Rantings

  1. I totally get this! I could care less if I had any relationship with my MIL or SIL because all they bring to my life is un-needed and un-wanted drama, but I feel horrible for J. I hate that he gets put into the middle of things and that his relatives try to lay guilt trips for no good reason. Sending you and Chief lots of love and prayers that his MIL will start to show excitement about Miss Charlie!

    • It is so. frustrating. It’s like Chief made the wrong decision in their eyes, so they don’t care about him anymore. Last week when he was gone for three days driving on three inches of solid ice in a humvee, making EMERGENCY runs to the blood bank at 3:00 am in the morning did they call and ask about him? Make sure he was okay? No. My parents called or texted at least once a day to check in and see if I knew anything. I just. don’t. get. it.

  2. In-law drama is so complicated. I’m sorry you’re having to deal with this. If it will make you laugh, the first time I met my FIL, he showed up for breakfast wearing a t-shirt with a big ol’ confederate flag on it. Welcome to my life. 🙂

      • My FIL is from Tennessee, and even though he’s lived in California since he was young, he still OOZES Tennessee. I do my best, but I spend a lot of time keeping my mouth shut and trying to pretend that I didn’t actually hear what he just said.

      • I love my home state. It’s beautiful, people are nice, yada yada. But there’s so much bigotry and hatred. It just kills me sometime. And we just went from having a democratic governor with an over 80% approval rating to an awful, smarmy republican governor. It makes my heart hurt.

  3. SIL needs to grow up and MIL needs to get over herself. Speaking from experience they’ll just never “get it”. If their son is happy then nothing else should matter. I for one think you are the better “DIL” 😀

  4. Yuck. And double yuck. She should be ecstatic over her soon-to-be-arriving granddaughter. And-in my opinion-about her mother who is caring for her in all the best ways. So sorry you have to deal with this. And I’m sorry for Chiefs pain. Totally unfair.

  5. While it may cause pain to their son it may be a far far far better thing for their granddaughter if they never intrude into her life. Does this make it easier? No. But it may still be better overall. This may be a blessing in a dark cloud.

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