Basically ten minutes after I wrote yesterdays post I made up with Chief. Mainly because i knew I was the only one who was really mad. He claims to understand where I’m coming from now and is willing to do what it takes. I got Cookie an appointment for next Wednesday to get spayed and shots and a heartworm/FIV test. The whole thing will cost me less than $100 and that’s a small price to pay to me. Chief is going to pick her up so I don’t have to take off work to do it. Then she’ll spend a few days in our bathroom recovering, and then we’ll let her go back outside.

I also put her on the list at the humane society. This BROKE my heart, seriously, because I’m in love with her. But I can’t have her. And I tried to talk myself into not doing it by saying that it would be another 9 months before I’d have to worry about real cold again, and the idea of her living in a cage is just awful, but I know she’ll get a home there and I’m not having any luck finding her one. She is so sweet-it won’t take many visitors for her to find someone to love her for the wonderful baby she is. It’s going to break me to take her though. They said it would be at least a few weeks. It makes me really sad to think of putting her in a cage when we’re going into spring like this and the outdoors is such a wonderful place for her to be.

This is the right thing to do…right?

Okay. I can’t write anymore about that lest I cry.

Last night I saw K for the first time. She didn’t speak to me. I didn’t LOOK at her. I just refused. I had an upset stomach the whole time and got up to use the bathroom a few times. TMI, but I have stress induced IBS. Since getting pregnant it has been so much better-like amazingly better. Basically non-existent. I forgot what a pain in the ass it is. Pun intended. Usually Chief and I do the dishes, but Chief wanted me to not anymore since I’m getting pregnant-er. But no one was getting up to help him so I cleared the table and brought him everything, and put away left overs. I didn’t want him to do it all by himself. I’m not that pregnant yet. I told him to give me at least another month before I totally cop out on him. But I really love that guy, you know? It’s why I can’t stay mad at him.

Today I bought TWO roses online. I lost four to the winter. Not to mention that I had a bad case of black spot last fall and going through treatment/getting pregnant basically led to me no longer taking care of my roses, so they went into the dormant season in a weakened state. I’m lucky I didn’t lose more. But anyway, I bought the new Neil Diamond hybrid tea and a Veteran’s Honor. I’m going to the garden center this weekend to buy another two (maybe three-I also lost a peony but might put a rose there instead). Chief starts painting the nursery this weekend! Can’t believe it’s really happening. I no longer talk about Charlie like she’s an “if”. She’s very firmly become a “when”. I know things could still go wrong, but as she just kicked me really good in the bladder I’m feeling like things are on the right track for a baby in June.

I did read another story today though about a couple who were told they were having a girl and ended up with a boy….so I’m making Dr. T double check next week when we got for my first third trimester appointment.

Third trimester? HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?!


7 thoughts on “Resolution

  1. Its funny that you said something about the whole girl ending up being a boy thing….last summer when I went back to Kansas when my dad was in ICU I was staying with some good friends from when I was a kid who happened to live near the hospital. It came up while I was there that my friend’s SIL was pregnant with her 3rd child and was told it was a girl until a few weeks before the baby was born! Apparently she literally threw a huge fit and acted like she was sooooo depressed about having another boy (her other two kids were boys). I was so pissed that she could be upset that she was going to have a healthy baby (for the third time!). Before all of this infertility crap I always thought I wanted a girl, but its amazing how this changes you. I also thought I wanted to find out the gender as early as possible and now I don’t even know if I want to find out at all!

    • It’s not like I won’t love my baby no matter what they are. I would have been just as happy to have a boy as a girl, but the deal NOW is that we’re attached to her as a girl…does that make sense? Obviously we’d get over it, but I won’t lie, it would really be an adjustment.

      • I only have two cats and according to my hubby, we are two over his limit of inside animals! LOL! He crew up with Noah’s Ark in his house (five small yapper dogs, one bull dog, two cats and a turtle inside and two dogs outside). So needless to say, he doesn’t like animals in the house. However, when we got together I already had a cat (an ex gave it to me…hehe) and then my brother found a four week old kitten a tree once and just brought it to my house, opened the door, said hi and then left. Of course with it being so young I HAD to keep it until it was old enough to be given away or put back outside….well, that was three years ago and it’s still here. And still inside. bahahaha

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