I’m crazy tired. Last night was spent worrying, looking up pregnant cat spay risk factors (I can’t make this up), crying (not, like, actively, but you know, tears rolling down my face at random times), and not a whole lot of sleeping.
Then i had to get up crazy early to get Baby Cat to the clinic. It’s about a 30-40 minute drive from my house, and I needed to have her there right when they opened at 7:30 so that I could get to work by 8:00 to open the departments.
And she cried her tiny meows the whole way there. I know that no cat likes a cat carrier, but knowing what she was about to go through made those cries so much more painful to hear.
When I dropped her off they were pretty gruff and no nonsense. They took the carrier while I was filling out paperwork and I didn’t get to say goodbye. Then when I was dropping off her paper work at the desk I saw her looking at me in the carrier holding area. It seemed like a staff area, but I didn’t ask. I just walked back and stuck my fingers through the cage door and told her that she was going to be okay, and that her foster daddy was going to pick her up this afternoon, and I’d see her in less than twelve hours. She looked so scared, which is to be expected. But man, I hate having that image in my head all day.
Then when I was walking out the vet tech nurse lady who had been kind of gruff stopped me and said that they would take good care of her and that she would set her up on a heating pad to help with the pain. Then I said thank you with a giant frog in my throat and basically sprint waddled out of there so no one could see the pregnant lady who was about to burst into tears.
Effing hormones, man.
But then, when I got to work one of my best friends (C, the one who’s throwing my baby shower!) said she had someone really interested in her. We’ve been messaging back and forth. This lady, T, has one other cat-a tortie like my Beatrix. She wants to get her a companion and said she wanted to help a cat in need. Major points scored there. So we talked some logistics about when would probably be a good time to meet her. I guessed that by Sunday or Monday she’ll be feeling better, although of course not fully recovered for still a while after that. She lives in the next town over, so not far at all. She asked me if I was having her declawed and I pretty staunchly said no, because I don’t believe in doing that (no judgement if you do it, it’s just not for my babies) and she said “Oh good, me neither. I used to but my philosophy has changed.”
I think this could work out, and I’m not even sad about it. At least, not at this very moment. A nice lady who takes care of her pets and lives close by who also said she would send me pictures periodically and keep me updated? That sounds like the open adoption experience I’ve been looking for.
I did tell her that if she decides to take her and it doesn’t work out with her other cat, I would want her to bring her back rather than take her anywhere else. I’m too invested in her not to see her through to either the end, or to her forever family. This is the most interest anyone has displayed in her, so I’m trying not to get my hopes up, but they’re up. As much as I want her and I love her, this would be better for her. Only one cat versus a herd of four who are already well established with each other. Not to mention three large dogs that she is innately programmed to be afraid of. Not to mention a new momma who’s about to be a new momma. We would make it work, but going to a house with just one cat and one human and no new babies seems better for her.
I’m going to miss her if this pans out, but I’m hopeful that soon I’ll be able to look at the pictures of her in a house playing with a new sister cat and just feel joy at how this all turned out. That’s what I want for my birthday this year. Cross your fingers ladies.