Ungracious?

So a thing happened on fb today, and I want some honest opinions on it.

I put up a picture or Charlie’s closet and a bunch of sweet folk commented on it. Several people asked where we were registered.

These folks aren’t ones I’m really close to and they weren’t invited to the shower, so I told them where we were registered but said “but please don’t feel like you need to get us a gift!”

Honestly I was trying to be polite-and I feel awkward about it, because I don’t want anyone to feel obligated to buy us a gift. One friend said that I needed to be gracious and just say thank you.

And I felt….scolded. Because the last thing I would ever want to do is be rude. I just don’t want folks thinking I’m fishing for presents, you know?

But apparently by telling people they DONT have to buy me a gift I’m being rude. I just responded that I have thank you cards ready and waiting, and that I am of course appreciative-I just don’t want folks to feel obligated to buy us stuff.

So… That feels uncomfortable.

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12 thoughts on “Ungracious?

  1. To be honest, I wouldn’t be offended by your comment. I don’t think it’s rude at all. I thought it was nice to let people know that while you’re posting about the registry, they’re not obligated to send a gift. But I’m a very straightforward person, and don’t read further into things than what is literally said.

  2. I wouldn’t worry about it. Your friend was being rude by telling you to just shut up and be gracious (well, basically). You said what you meant and felt, which is they shouldn’t feel obligated. You don’t expect a gift from everyone. If she doesn’t like that, oh well. I don’t know, like the previous comment, I’m very straight up.

  3. The hard thing about screen time is that there is no tone. I can totally imagine that comment being said in a light hearted “well I’m going to buy you something” so just shut up and say thanks. Same as when someone pays you a compliment and you don’t handle it well and they scold you but in a nice way. Perhaps she was being like that? πŸ™‚

  4. I wouldn’t have been offended by it at all, and actually I would have said the exact same thing. I also would have probably been offended by the friend’s comment, deleted it, and sent a private message explaining what I meant. Social media/email/texts can be so hard sometimes with no tone to go with the words…

  5. To be honest I would have said the same thing, I think in saying that you were being honest and nice. I would have been tempted to ignore the comment from your friend, because the comment felt inflammatory to me, but I think your response was really good.

  6. No worries! I would have handled it exactly the same way you did. Don’t worry about other opinions on this one. Of COURSE you are going to be gracious when people give you gifts, regardless of who they are or what the gift is! But I don’t think the fact that you said, “don’t feel obligated” should be taken as anything but humble. You’re good here. πŸ™‚

  7. I don’t think what you said is rude, in fact we said the same thing so many times! It’s such a fine line to walk when it comes to this sort of thing, half will think you’re rude and the other half will take it at face value that you’re not having a baby to fish for gifts lol. It’s their problem if they think you’re rude for saying it!

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