And I didn’t have my baby and forget about you. Or have my baby at all. It’s just been really, really busy. And stuff has been going on. And I needed a few days to process some things.
So, I know this will shock every last one of you, but my sister has once again caused some turmoil in my life. Here’s what happened: Last Wednesday a friend of mine shared a post of hers on facebook, but it was a post I hadn’t seen about her dog being missing. So I went to look at her page directly and realized I couldn’t really see much. It looked weird. And then I saw the “Add Friend” button.
She defriended me.
And it’s such a stupid, passive aggressive thing to do, and a really stupid thing for me to get upset about. And I couldn’t really decide if I was upset or not. I was….surprised. Then I did some digging, and she didn’t defriend Chief-just me. Meaning she was targeting me, TRYING to hurt me specifically. And THAT’S when I got upset. But not REALLY upset, just bothered.
And the other half of this, is that my mom in some passive aggressive way to get me to talk about my sister is CONSTANTLY saying “Did you see what K posted on facebook?” or “Was it you or was it K who posted such and such on facebook?” I’m not kidding-she does this every. day.
So when I talked to her next I told her what happened. And I made it very clear that I wasn’t asking her to take a side, make a comment, etc. I said I didn’t want her to say a single word to K about it. I really just was telling her so she could STOP asking me if I had seen such and such on K’s facebook.
But OF COURSE, OF COURSE my mother can’t let well enough alone. So we got in yet ANOTHER fight that ended with her basically saying that K was never going to change so it was going to have to be me who changed, and me saying that I was done with that, and that I deserve to be treated with respect-period. She also threw in some fun mother guilt about how awful it was for her that her two daughters don’t even talk to each other, to which I responded that she had no idea how awful it was for me to have a sister that I couldn’t lean on, rely on, or even share in the happiness of this pregnancy and new addition to my family.
My mom also made excuses for K-saying it was an accident, or that she was just cleaning her list out, etc. She didn’t have a good excuse for why she would have deleted me but not Chief. And it didn’t seem to matter how many times I said that I wasn’t asking mom to justify it, take a side, etc. I REALLY WASN’T. I know better than that. Mom will never support me when it comes to K.
Then I got off the phone and sobbed for a good ten minutes. Then I had to turn on the happy face, because literally five minutes later my sister-in-law came over to have dinner with us (she was in town) and I did NOT want to get into these issues with her, or anyone really. I did talk to my aunt about it and she was horrified and upset on my behalf.
Even on Saturday when I talked to Dad about it he was upset with K. He got vehemently mad and said he was going to talk to her, because that behavior was unnecessary. I vehemently said back that I did NOT want them to interfere. I’m tired of them trying to interfere. It doesn’t help. K is turning 32 years old in November. The time for them to interfere was when we were kids-we’re way beyond that now.
The fact of the matter is that my sister is just mean and hateful. And I can live without her, but I don’t need my parents making me feel bad about that. Which my mom is all about. And you guys know how much I’ve mourned that relationship. It’s not like I do this flippantly. This has been 27 years coming, and the fact that they didn’t see it makes it clear that they really haven’t been paying attention. And the thing that really, REALLY gets me, is that when my mother and father got divorced my sister didn’t speak to my mother for MONTHS and if she did say anything to her it was hateful and cruel. My mom actually said to me at that time that she understood what my life had been like at that point. But then of course her and K got back to their old relationship and that’s all that matters now.
Then, just to top that off, I had dinner with my in-laws on Saturday where I was told:
1. That the cats would suck the oxygen away from my baby’s mouth and I should make sure to keep them away from her.
2. Next time Chief and I better try “harder” for a boy. This was followed by crude comments about just how to accomplish that in regards to our sex life. At the dinner table.
3. Charlie BETTER learn how to shoot a gun.
4. Charlie WILL learn how to play golf.
No, no, no, and NO. If Charlie WANTS to learn how to shoot a gun or play golf, we will let her, at the appropriate ages for such activities, and with certified instructors. And don’t even get me STARTED on those first two comments.
But, as much as this post is filled with bad stuff, I’m really okay. I started my new part time schedule at work yesterday, and it’s working just fine so far. I think everyone is sort of feeling sorry for me, like I “lost” my manager gig, but I’m not sad about it. I was a little on Saturday-which was my last day as manager, but now it feels just fine. I’m just focusing into a new part of my life. And today I get to go home at 2:00, so that’s nothing to be sad about.