I am basically just one giant fungus

If you had to pick a fungus to be, what would you choose? I think it would be hen of the woods mushrooms. I mean, they’re delicious, and not as common as a shitake. Anyone could be a shitake.

Anyway, my point is this-I am a fungus. Let’s recap this pregnancy:

1. Many, MANY fungal ear infections.

2. Fungal skin infection on the chest

3. Fungal skin infection that wouldn’t clear up on chest, and spread to neck (still hasn’t cleared btw-just dealing with it since it doesn’t itch)

4. And now, NOW I have a yeast infection. Of the nether regions.

I had my 37 week appointment yesterday and they asked if I was having any problems. Usually I tell them that my pelvis hurts (it does) and they say it’s normal, blah blah blah. But I also mentioned to the nurse that I’d been having a lot of irritation in the lady parts, so she had me undress from the waist down and he did a swab. Sure enough. Yeast infection.

Son of a bitch.

Luckily, he gave me diflucan. SO MUCH BETTER THAN MONISTAT. One pill and you’re done. And it feels WORLDS better today, so I’m glad. But what is up with me and the fungus y’all? I’m hoping it’s just a weird pregnancy thing.

Speaking of, my cervix is still so out of reach that he didn’t really check for dilation. I mean, he did, but he said he couldn’t tell anything without really hurting me, and that seems unnecessary since it’s not like I’m late or anything. That’s fine. I’m really just hanging at this point. She’s going to come when she’s going to come. Knowing if I’m dilated or not isn’t going to do me any good or change anything right now.

Also, Chief and Dr. T agreed it would be better for both of their schedules if she could wait until AFTER next Saturday to come. I’m really glad they worked all that out. I mean, I’d HATE to inconvenience anyone….WITH GIVING BIRTH.

I said something along these lines to them both and they just snickered at me, and then I swear they high fived behind my back.

I was thinking about baking Dr. T cookies at the end of all this, but now I think he gets nothing. And at 37 weeks pregnant, Chief has already been getting nothing (if you know what I mean) for a while now, so that’s probably punishment enough.

Happy Friday.


22 thoughts on “I am basically just one giant fungus

  1. You are not alone! I also have the fungal skin rash on my neck. It comes and goes. I actually find a coconut oil will clear it up for a while until it comes back again. And if you recall, one of my first prego symptoms was THRUSH! I’m trying to avoid the sugar, but come on now, that ain’t easy when you are prego and have major food adversions.

  2. OMG this had me cracking up at the end!! Men should know better than to team up on a pregnant woman! I’m sorry you’ve been having all these infections. Hopefully from here on out it’s smooth sailing for you!

  3. Well I couldn’t be any type of fungus because I am allergic and would die… it would be a very short life 🙂
    That sounds like a messed up kids book doesn’t it, “the fungus who was allergic to herself”, could make it into a serious, “the bandaid that was scared of blood”, or “the germaphobic alcohol swab” – they could teach kids about health. – Uhh I may have gotten a little off track here.
    Bad boys, they shouldn’t be picking on a pregnant lady. Naughty corners for both of them 🙂

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