The Shitccidents

I have a few tales for you, much more amusing than my familial woes (which are ongoing I might add, but I’m sick of boring you with them). Let me tell you the Tales of the Shitccidents.

The Grocery Store Shitccident:

I believe it was the Wednesday of Chief’s first week back to work. I figured it was time to finally buck up my bravery and run an errand with the baby by myself, so we went to the commissary to get some groceries. I put her in her moby wrap, got a cart, and did our weekly shopping all by myself. It went really well. She slept the whole time, admired by all the retired old ladies doing their shopping. I felt proud of how well it was going.

The grocery loader loaded the bags in the car, I tipped them, got Charlie in her carseat, and went on my merry way. The only problem was how hot it was. So hot. When we got home I got Charlie and headed to the front door. As soon as I opened the door, I smelled it.

Horrific dog poop smell. Not normal dog poop. Sick-to-their-stomach dog poop. I did a quick survey to make sure I wasn’t going to step in it and hurried in with Charlie. I set her on the kitchen table in her carseat (please don’t judge) and hustled back out to get the groceries. I got the perishables in and left one bag of non-perishables in the car to deal with later.

By this point Charlie was screaming, so I retrieved her and tried to calm her while finding the source of the horror.

It was in her room. On her beautiful yellow and white rug. Diarrhea.

Eff words.

I set her down in her crib and grabbed the resolve I had just bought at the store (such good timing). I started to clean and got the solids up and the spots saturated. The diaper genie came in handy, let me tell you. Charlie was crying again so I sat in the glider and tried to ignore the smell while I nursed her. Then I would take a break and scrub the carpet. Then she’d cry again so I’d nurse. Then scrub. Then nurse. You get the picture.

I finally get the nursing and scrubbing done and the carpet looks miraculously back to normal. I febreeze it just for good measure.

Then, deciding that C and I deserve a good nap I head to our bedroom where I find that a dog has gotten into the trash and strewn it everywhere. So then I cleaned that up before collapsing. Also, by this point I was stripped down to my undies because I had gotten so hot running in and out of the house, nursing, scrubbing, nursing, scrubbing, etc.

So, the moral of the story is this kids: Don’t get cocky-the universe will get you.

The Law Firm Shitccident:

Last week was the end of my maternity leave at the law firm. Not a huge deal since I work up to 10 hours a week at the firm and they said I could bring the baby with me. We went in on Monday really early, just shortly after 5:00 am. I got some stuff done. There wasn’t much to do honestly because the girl who was filling in for me had been dilligent. It’s also sort of a slow season as far as that job goes.

Charlie had once again hung out in her Moby fairly well. She got a little fussy around 8:00, but it was time for me to head back down to my office from the second floor business library anyway, so we went down and I changed her diaper which was super dirty, and nursed her. Then I went back to working a bit, just computer input and what not. Then she started to fuss again, so I checked her diaper and sure enough, dirty again.

Then the girl who had been filling in for me came in and visited with her a bit. We went over some boring library business, and Charlie started to fuss again. I was trying to hang around until 9:00 am because my boss wanted to meet her and that’s when she comes in, so I decided to nurse her again thinking maybe she didn’t get enough because I was a bit nervous about nursing at work.

So I’m nursing her and I feel like I hear a dripping sound, but figure I’m just imagining it, then I stand up and see it:

Baby poop. On my office floor. Also, my office chair.

Then, with a horrifying reach back I feel it:

Baby poop on the back of my pants.


Charlie had one of the only explosive diapers she’s ever had in her almost seven weeks of life. In my office. Of course I didn’t have anything to properly clean it up with. I focused on getting her cleaned up first. Amazingly the poop didn’t get on her clothes at all. AT ALL. I don’t know how, but she was clean, other than her bum of course.

Then I used an excessive amount of wipes trying to scrub up the evidence. I plan on sneaking my bottle of resolve up with me in the diaper bag this coming week to clean up the rest, but I fear my office chair may never be the same.

Needless to say, after that we just went ahead and left. It was 8:30 and Charlie had had enough, so we went back home and got back into bed, needless to say, AFTER putting my pants in the wash.

So those are the Shitccidents as I have started calling them.

And since we’re on the topic of baby poop, I’ll just round it off with a concern I have. Charlie’s poops have been spinach green on and off for the last few days. Not frothy like they say you’ll get with a fore/hind milk inbalance, but still, quite green. So I’m a bit concerned. Her weight gain is still stellar. she gained 4.5 ounces in three days and 4 percentile points, and she seems perfectly happy. She’s also going through a growth spurt and eating all the time. She has a doctors appt in a week and a half for her eight week shots and I’m trying to decide if she needs to be seen before then or not.

If it IS a fore/hind milk imbalance, I’m curious as to how to deal with it. Someone on my fb said they pumped a bit before every feeding to pull off some fore milk, but I don’t feel like that will fix the problem. I mean, sure, it will  as far as giving her less fore milk, but it’s still sending the message to my breasts to make that much milk because it’s being removed. I’m more inclined to block feed, that is, to feed from the same breast two feedings in a row before switching, to try and take my supply down a bit. And of course I’ll check with the doctor as well, but I thought I’d see what some of you momma’s thought.

And with that post full of poop, I say goodnight to you!


25 thoughts on “The Shitccidents

  1. 1. Ansel’s only significant blow outs have been in the grocery store and, more recently, at the car dealership when we were getting the crv. That day we failed to bring the diaper bag. And we cloth diaper. So, that was fun. 2. There is really no such thing as fore/hind milk problems and any green except lime colour is ok. But beyond that, if she’s gaining and having good diapers, I wouldn’t worry. Block feeding is good if she’s having reflux or choking with let down, and try laid back nursing to control flow as well.

    • She sometimes chokes, mostly in the morning when there’s SO MUCH MILK. My leaking has slowed to only once every few days, and just a little, so I do think things are leveling out. She’s gaining like a champ. I had read an article saying that the fore/hind milk stuff was hokum, but the green poo was alarming me. Nothing like a little mommy fear to make you doubt yourself. I’ve been monitoring her temp too and it’s totally normal.

  2. Talk about a shitcident! (Taking. Thanks for coining!) Yeah, I never thought I’d care so much about poop colour.

  3. yup, green poop is fine. the colors i worry about are black, white, or red. gotta love the shitcidents! i feel like we’re overdue for one since it’s been a few weeks since the last… :/

    • Oh I’m sure I have a few more to go. Cleaning up baby poop really doesn’t bother me. I’m just horrified that my office chair had to suffer. Cleaning up dog poop however….THAT bothers me.

      • Hmm I used to think that neither bothered me either. Then the youngest niece on my side arrived and seriously she is the worst I have ever seen including 3 other nieces and nephews and all my friends babies! Explosive… regularly!!!
        You might change your tune on the baby poo smells once she gets on solids hahaha.
        Meanwhile you will never believe this, but I think your post cursed me, I had to clean up dog poo this morning before work. I let them out, but our girl decided the grass was too cold for her precious bottom so waited until she came back in and went on the carpet. Just what I needed 4 mins before I needed to leave right?! hahaha.

  4. I remember my oldest had green poo during a growth spurt too and the midwife said it was normal for during lots of growth.
    also, I think if you are feeding on demand as you are doing, and you are feeding quite often, the whole fore and hind milk thing doesn’t really apply.
    Hope all ok w family!

  5. haha oh babies and poop. Really, you’ve done rather well although Charlie did make a stellar poonami debut by letting it all go at your work. Geeeez. My son pooped on me every day for about the first month of this life. I don’t know what it was. I tried every diaper on the market and they would still leak. I got wise about it eventually and put an old style cloth nappy under him when he was feeding (his was a digestion thing – he’d feed and poop on me at the same time) but damn did I wear a lot of poop in those early days. Bummer you have to be back at work already. That sucks. So awesome you can take Charlie with you. x

  6. Foremilk/hindmilk imbalance also called oversupply CAN contribute to green poop as it is the result of extra lactose from the foremilk. We had this issue as well. I did block feeding and nurse laying down to help with flow. Be super careful with trying to pump first because if you get too much it can make it worse.

    I also have a forceful letdown so when it let’s down, I sometimes make him wait until the spraying stops (he decides now) so it’s slower.

  7. Since baby hasn’t arrived yet, I’ll share my worst dog shitcident. Pad Thai shrimp + chihuahua = explosive diaherria everywhere for 24 hours. We had to separate the chis because our girl kept getting his poop all over her. Needless to say, I think our poor boy will never snag a shrimp again. Thanks for posting this. I think it’s a lesson learned to ensure you always have stuff to prepare for a blow out. Can’t wait to experience my first :S

    • Well THAT sounds like hell. I should probably keep a small bottle of resolve in my diaper bag. I always have it at home because pets, but who knew I’d need it on the road? I always keep an extra outfit of hers with me (I should keep one of mine too), but I never knew I’d need carpet cleaner too!

  8. LOL! This is great! But seriously, I will also echo what others have said that green poop should be nothing to worry about. But definitely mention it at the appointment when you go to further set your mind at ease. The poop colors to be concerned about are white, dark black, and red, as in bloody. Otherwise, there’s a whole rainbow of colors of baby poop that are a-ok. Baby’s digestive systems are constantly maturing and adjusting, and of course you aren’t eating the same things all day every day, either!

    Bunny has been the absolute QUEEN of diaper blowouts! Even the day care staff have commented on it, and they have dealt with a LOT of blowouts! I would say they peaked for her around 5-7 months. We seem to be in a downward trend finally now (at 8 1/2 months), thank goodness. But that girl could cover herself head to toe – literally – in her own excrement. So not cool.

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