I have a few tales for you, much more amusing than my familial woes (which are ongoing I might add, but I’m sick of boring you with them). Let me tell you the Tales of the Shitccidents.
The Grocery Store Shitccident:
I believe it was the Wednesday of Chief’s first week back to work. I figured it was time to finally buck up my bravery and run an errand with the baby by myself, so we went to the commissary to get some groceries. I put her in her moby wrap, got a cart, and did our weekly shopping all by myself. It went really well. She slept the whole time, admired by all the retired old ladies doing their shopping. I felt proud of how well it was going.
The grocery loader loaded the bags in the car, I tipped them, got Charlie in her carseat, and went on my merry way. The only problem was how hot it was. So hot. When we got home I got Charlie and headed to the front door. As soon as I opened the door, I smelled it.
Horrific dog poop smell. Not normal dog poop. Sick-to-their-stomach dog poop. I did a quick survey to make sure I wasn’t going to step in it and hurried in with Charlie. I set her on the kitchen table in her carseat (please don’t judge) and hustled back out to get the groceries. I got the perishables in and left one bag of non-perishables in the car to deal with later.
By this point Charlie was screaming, so I retrieved her and tried to calm her while finding the source of the horror.
It was in her room. On her beautiful yellow and white rug. Diarrhea.
I set her down in her crib and grabbed the resolve I had just bought at the store (such good timing). I started to clean and got the solids up and the spots saturated. The diaper genie came in handy, let me tell you. Charlie was crying again so I sat in the glider and tried to ignore the smell while I nursed her. Then I would take a break and scrub the carpet. Then she’d cry again so I’d nurse. Then scrub. Then nurse. You get the picture.
I finally get the nursing and scrubbing done and the carpet looks miraculously back to normal. I febreeze it just for good measure.
Then, deciding that C and I deserve a good nap I head to our bedroom where I find that a dog has gotten into the trash and strewn it everywhere. So then I cleaned that up before collapsing. Also, by this point I was stripped down to my undies because I had gotten so hot running in and out of the house, nursing, scrubbing, nursing, scrubbing, etc.
So, the moral of the story is this kids: Don’t get cocky-the universe will get you.
The Law Firm Shitccident:
Last week was the end of my maternity leave at the law firm. Not a huge deal since I work up to 10 hours a week at the firm and they said I could bring the baby with me. We went in on Monday really early, just shortly after 5:00 am. I got some stuff done. There wasn’t much to do honestly because the girl who was filling in for me had been dilligent. It’s also sort of a slow season as far as that job goes.
Charlie had once again hung out in her Moby fairly well. She got a little fussy around 8:00, but it was time for me to head back down to my office from the second floor business library anyway, so we went down and I changed her diaper which was super dirty, and nursed her. Then I went back to working a bit, just computer input and what not. Then she started to fuss again, so I checked her diaper and sure enough, dirty again.
Then the girl who had been filling in for me came in and visited with her a bit. We went over some boring library business, and Charlie started to fuss again. I was trying to hang around until 9:00 am because my boss wanted to meet her and that’s when she comes in, so I decided to nurse her again thinking maybe she didn’t get enough because I was a bit nervous about nursing at work.
So I’m nursing her and I feel like I hear a dripping sound, but figure I’m just imagining it, then I stand up and see it:
Baby poop. On my office floor. Also, my office chair.
Then, with a horrifying reach back I feel it:
Baby poop on the back of my pants.
Charlie had one of the only explosive diapers she’s ever had in her almost seven weeks of life. In my office. Of course I didn’t have anything to properly clean it up with. I focused on getting her cleaned up first. Amazingly the poop didn’t get on her clothes at all. AT ALL. I don’t know how, but she was clean, other than her bum of course.
Then I used an excessive amount of wipes trying to scrub up the evidence. I plan on sneaking my bottle of resolve up with me in the diaper bag this coming week to clean up the rest, but I fear my office chair may never be the same.
Needless to say, after that we just went ahead and left. It was 8:30 and Charlie had had enough, so we went back home and got back into bed, needless to say, AFTER putting my pants in the wash.
So those are the Shitccidents as I have started calling them.
And since we’re on the topic of baby poop, I’ll just round it off with a concern I have. Charlie’s poops have been spinach green on and off for the last few days. Not frothy like they say you’ll get with a fore/hind milk inbalance, but still, quite green. So I’m a bit concerned. Her weight gain is still stellar. she gained 4.5 ounces in three days and 4 percentile points, and she seems perfectly happy. She’s also going through a growth spurt and eating all the time. She has a doctors appt in a week and a half for her eight week shots and I’m trying to decide if she needs to be seen before then or not.
If it IS a fore/hind milk imbalance, I’m curious as to how to deal with it. Someone on my fb said they pumped a bit before every feeding to pull off some fore milk, but I don’t feel like that will fix the problem. I mean, sure, it will as far as giving her less fore milk, but it’s still sending the message to my breasts to make that much milk because it’s being removed. I’m more inclined to block feed, that is, to feed from the same breast two feedings in a row before switching, to try and take my supply down a bit. And of course I’ll check with the doctor as well, but I thought I’d see what some of you momma’s thought.
And with that post full of poop, I say goodnight to you!