Sister Update. Ugh.
I’ve needed to type this up for a few weeks but I’ve just been avoiding it. Thinking happy thoughts. Sititng in a corner rocking. Etc.
Just to jump right back in, last I updated you guys we were still not speaking. My parents had both continually been harassing me about it. I was sticking firm to the “I need an apology and a promise things will be better” defense. Neither of them seemed to get it.
Then Charlie got sick, and the Tuesday after she’d gone to the ER (she went on a Friday) I get a text from K asking how Charlie is. Of course my parents told her she was sick. Of course they leveraged anything they could to get things back to the way they wanted. I knew that I couldn’t ignore the text because then I’d be seen as the unreasonable one since she was the one being so kind as to inquire about my child. So I was cordial, if distant. I told her her fevers were going down but she still felt bad. She asked more questions. I gave short, succinct answers. And then apparently we were best friends again. Oh wait. We’ve never been best friends AND DAMNIT SHE NEVER EFFING APOLOGIZED.
But she had me over a barrel. She tricked me. So since then things have gone back to the way they were. I hate being around her. I dread it. I speak to her only when I have to. Etc.
The day that pawpaw died we went to his house to plan the funeral, and she took the baby from my mother and started walking around with her like it was no big deal. I held myself together and watched her like a hawk with bionic vision. Charlie started chewing on her hands so I said “She’s hungry. I should feed her.” and reached out to take MY CHILD. K looked at her and said “She seems fine to me.” and looked away from me. I said “Yes, we could wait for her to get mad, or you could hand me MY CHILD and let me feed her.” and then just took her. Because oh yeah. She’s MY CHILD.
Then she took her back from someone (maybe my aunt? Notice she doesn’t dare take her from me) and was walking around “ding donging” her like a bell. So I went and took her, because my baby is not a toy. She is MY CHILD. My hard fought for, went to Hell and back for, pushed her out of my body, flesh and blood child. Why does that even need to be said?
And she just bought a new house and is telling everyone that she bought a bigger house “just so” that Charlie would have a place to sleep “when” she comes to stay.
NOT. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.
So the reason I bring this all up is that tonight at family dinner it came up that my cousin S is going to be keeping Charlie one day a week for me while I work at the law firm. S is super excited about this and I’m looking forward to a bit of grown up time without Charlie, while also simultaneously dreading it (normal? I guess?) and knowing I’m going to miss her an insane amount and worry about her even while she’s in S’s capable hands. And so I said to mom that Tuesday would be my first day back at the firm for a full day and K INSTANTLY said “Well who’s keeping the baby?!” and I said “S is” and she said “I want to do it!” and I just ignored her and went on talking to mom. And all through dinner she bugged S about it. I felt terrible for S, but she handled it well and just kept changing the subject. Apparently K brought up her experience from when she watched a baby THIRTEEN YEARS AGO.
I’m sorry, pardon my french, but fuck that. Seriously? You are terribly cruel to me my whole life. You offend and hurt me and my husband. You never apologize. You try to fight me about my child when you do finally get your clutches on her. You’ve spent the last ten years talking about how much you hate kids and don’t want to have any. You live out in the goddamn woods for goodness sake, and you expect me to say, “Oh yeah! What a great idea! I’ll let the Devil incarnate watch my baby!”
NOT. GOING. TO. HAPPEN.
She also made a crude joke about me in front of everyone. Want to hear it?
What do you call librarian when she does jumping jacks?
But I’m supposed to let her baby sit. I DARE my parents to say anything to me about this. ONE DAMN THING PARENTS. Watch how fast I blow up.