Hey y’all. Everyone have a lovely holiday? Excellent.
We did too mostly. It’s hard with a six month old who still firmly needs two 1.5-2 hour naps a day, especially since she only got one. She was pretty fussy all through our second celebration of the day, but it was loud and there were lots of things happening. She had a hard time going to bed last night but we made it through to today.
Here’s something though:
Yesterday morning we celebrated Christmas at my dad’s house in the morning. When we were done opening gifts dad said we could go down and eat breakfast. I said that was good timing because Charlie seemed ready to eat too. No one exactly started to move and I indicated, again, that once they left I could feed Charlie.
My sister started going “Oh GOD-i didn’t realize you were going to do it RIGHT HERE. I’ll get out right now I do NOT want to see that!”
All I said back was “you have boobs yourself, it’s really not that big a deal.” But I left it at that. They left, I nursed. We moved on.
Then that night at my grandmas SHE brought it up. She said that she had been traumatized by her boss pumping in the car when they would go on business trips. “SHE DID IT RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME.”
“Well, she sort of had to. I mean, you were in the car so there’s really no place to go. And you have to pump regularly to maintain a supply.”
“Jesus Christ-she could have covered up. No one needs to see that.”
I didn’t get mad, but I did calmly say:
“Honestly? If I didn’t know that it would horrify P, and Uncle C (my male relatives) I would be nursing right here in front of all of you. Because it’s not a big deal. I do it at restaurants all the time, and I’m very discreet.”
Then I got compared to a farm animal when my sister said that she didn’t even like it when her goats did it. She also didn’t understand why I don’t just pump and feed her through a bottle so that others aren’t “grossed out” by me. She said that it seemed like less trouble to not have to “worry about who is staring at me or offended.”
And I didn’t get mad. I just brushed it off because she is so, so ignorant that it’s not worth the fight. And it’s Christmas, and Christmas isn’t just about me-it’s about my whole family, and I know they’re stressed enough when K and I are around each other because of the tension.
But I won’t lie, it got under my skin. I’m not gross. There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m feeding my baby in the manner of my choosing. I love nursing. I truly do. I don’t love pumping, but I do love providing life saving milk to NICU babies through my donations.
There’s nothing wrong with what I do. I am incredibly discreet about it without even having to use a cover. You see maybe a centimeter of breast with my method, but the bottom line is that I’m considerate that my family is a bit backwards on this and I always let them know that I need to feed the baby so that they can leave the room or I can. That’s all that needs to be said about it. No one needs to remind me of how grossed out they are by me.
And yet someone always does.