A harsh reminder

The other day my good friend C and I went antiquing together and we talked a lot about motherhood and marriage. I mentioned that I felt like parenting had actually strengthened my marriage with Chief. Becoming a mother has forced me to not sweat the small stuff so much-who has the energy? And Chief works so hard with the baby. I wish he worked a bit harder around the house, but  you can’t win them all.

Monday night we had our third night in a row of grueling bedtime. For whatever reason Charlie decided that bedtime was THE WORST and she just wasn’t doing it. This led to lots of crying in arms, frustrations, and me and Chief switching back and forth trying to get the kid in bed. At one point I was so frustrated that I put her in her bed and just had to walk out of the room for a minute. Just a minute mind you, but Chief came back and looked at me like “What’s wrong with you? Your baby is crying and you’re just standing here?”

Then later we were talking about it and I said “you understand that sometimes I just don’t know what to do and I need a minute-that’s what was going on when you walked in.” and he said “I know, but we need to figure something out.”

And it set me off. I started crying about how “WE” basically means me, because I’m the one doing all the research trying to figure this out and get the kid to sleep. I was really, really upset, overly so I now realize, and I went to bed at 8:45 because I was exhausted. At 11:30 pm I woke up nauseated thinking it was from not eating any dinner, so I ate a granola bar. With breastfeeding when my blood sugar gets low sometimes I get sick to my stomach. Then it got worse and worse. Sometimes when I have bad nausea it’s actually acid reflux. So I took two zantac. Then around 2:00 am I started vomiting. Violently vomiting. And then diarrhea. And then more vomiting. And diarrhea. And on and on and on. At one point all I was vomiting up was water, and it was the water that had barely hit my stomach.

And despite the fact that my last words to Chief had been angry, hateful ones, he emptied my barf buckets, got up with the baby when I woke her up with my violent vomiting, and stayed up with me and her all night. And then he stayed home with me from work for the last two days, drove me to the doctor, went to the store to get things I would need (and took the baby with him so I could rest), made me dinner last night (which I ate three bites of and then vomited again) and basically just did everything he was supposed to.

And I mean, that’s the deal right? He is supposed to do these things. He’s my husband, for better or worse, sickness and in health. But let’s be honest, this was a super gross few days. I’m not sure I would have handled it with the same level of grace that he has. I’ve apologized probably 20 times for various disgusting things, and he just keeps saying “Stop apologizing-you can’t help it.” Last night he came back to the bedroom to find me vomiting, naked-not an attractive sight. I had desperately cried out for him over the baby monitor because my retching had woken up the baby and I knew she was probably scared about what she was hearing. He came running back, grabbed her up, and then rubbed my back until I was done. Then he tucked me into bed, refilled my water, and got the baby back in bed.

This is the sickest I’ve ever been, at least that I can remember. My body hurt all over with aches and chills, my fever was at 102 last night and with the baby sleeping on me I was burning up. I’ve been dried out like a raisin and am just now starting to finally rehydrate. I ate real food tonight for dinner that Chief went out and got for me and I actually gave the baby her bath tonight and got her in bed myself. Thank goodness she didn’t catch this. Thank goodness Chief didn’t.

And while I would never, ever wish for something like this, it certainly has helped me realize to not take my husband for granted. I often think that he takes me for granted, but I never turn the tables around on myself and realize that I do it too. So this was my harsh reminder that while neither of us are perfect, my husband is truly my partner, for better or worse, in sickness and in health.

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9 thoughts on “A harsh reminder

  1. Oh hon you poor thing. Sounds a bit hideous for you. Thank goodness the rest of the house didn’t get it. Sounds like you have a pretty great hubby there. That’s awesome xx

  2. Glad you are feeling better!
    I have been lamenting the sleep issue with you (my own for 2 years)… I read an article the other day about breast sleeping. It made a lot of sense. I still didn’t love her in the bed but fighting it was making me lose more sleep than letting her do it. But alas my baby has finally learned to sleep – on her own! For two weeks she has gone to bed in her crib wide awake and gone right to sleep. And it has leaked into naps so yay! Success is there, I just had to wait for her to decide. And she’ll probably give up the boob soon too. And I think you’ve said it before, while milestones are awesome, they are bittersweet. My baby isn’t all baby anymore.

    • We cosleep for about half the night, and last night when she woke up at 10:00 I just immediately had Chief put her in bed with me. my supply has taken a huge (and hopefully temporary) hit from being so dehydrated so I needed her to nurse anyway. She basically sleep-nursed all night and I think today has been better supply wise. I just pumped for the first time in three days and got only 1.5 ounces when I normally get 4-5, but i’m hopeful. I gave in and gave her the pacifier tonight to help her sleep. I waffle on it but you know what? She’s seven freaking months old. It’s FINE that she’s using a pacifier. I have to stop second guessing myself.

      • Drink! Drink! Drink! She’ll help you get the supply back up in a few days. You’re doing a great job even though sometimes it doesn’t feel that way – just look at that smile!

  3. Oh my goodness. That sounds miserable. The whole time I was wondering how your supply was. I had a similar bug right before thanksgiving and I felt like I dried up fast! But cluster feeding for the win! Drink up, and eat up! I’m SOOO glad you are feeling better! Odds are Charlie won’t get it because your body made the antibodies to protect her well before you had symptoms. HUGS

  4. Oh Hon, that sounds awful! I’m glad you’re starting to feel better and definitely give her the paci if she’s willing to take one. There are definite benefits to using a paci so I wouldn’t second guess yourself there.

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