Charlie had her 9 month appointment on Wednesday, which was the day she turned nine months. Works out well.

She’s small for her age but the doc wasn’t concerned about that. She’s 16 lbs and 27 inches long with a head diameter of 17 inches.

The things she’s doing “right” are:

Shaking toys and rattles
Responding to her name
Making eye contact
Pincer Grip

The Things she’s not doing:

Cruising around a table while holding onto it (he said this one isn’t a big deal until 12 months)
Saying “mama” or “dada”
Pulling up all the way
Getting into a seated position from lying down on her own
Playing pattycake (when he asked this one I said “No, but then again i didn’t know we were supposed to be doing that…)

He said none of it was making him lose sleep at night, but that if she hadn’t caught by 12 months he would be recommending occupational therapy. He also said I was probably doing too much for her which is holding her back, and acted like she should be sleeping through the night by now as well. I told him we had sleep trained and that she had gone from who knows how many night wakings (seriously, I was cosleeping with my boob out, who fucking knows) to 2-3 a night with a big stretch at the beginning. He said “well, I guess you can pick your battles, but you need to be letting her figure things out on her own.”

Then he said I should be reading to her more. and I almost decked him. Because the kid gets three books a day, one before each nap and one before bedtime, SOMETIMES two if they’re short.

So what I want to know is, are we really that behind? She’s nine months old. All the moms in my birth club were pretty shocked and said that there kids weren’t doing hardly any of this and their doctors hadn’t brought it up. I like my doctor for a lot of reasons. He’s an osteopath so he isn’t always trying to push drugs on us. He’s really into total health and isn’t going to let something like a back problem go without letting you know you should lose weight-he keeps you accountable for your health, and I think he’s fair and balanced.

But I also feel like he’s a bit old school about some stuff and I’m wondering where other’s stand on this. In the two days since her appointment she has started just baaaaarely crawling (like, she can move herself forward a few inches and then crashes to her tummy) and she can now get herself sitting up on her own. We think she’s waved a few times but it’s hard to tell because they’re so twitchy, and when she’s crying she goes “MMMMMM-MA. MMMMMM-MA” which we both feel certain is the beginnings of “momma.”

So do I need to be worried?


30 thoughts on “Behind….?

  1. Nope. My LO did not clap until 1 but start that commando crawling at 6 mths. He didn’t cruise around furniture until 1 either, walked at 15 months. Was really late sitting up too – like maybe almost 9 mths. She sounds pretty normal to me. Over here they teach us not to get too wound up about these things so early as all babies go at their own pace. It is not like she isn’t achieving ANY of her milestones. At a certain point you might go ok let’s look into all this but it seems early to me. My friend’s 1 year old doesn’t talk and only started cruising right before her birthday. Charlie sounds perfectly within range in my totally uneducated opinion!

    • Thank you! Yeah he said that none of it was a big deal YET and not to worry about it YET, but it’s like he doesn’t even know me for goodness sakes! He said at a year she should be saying mama and dadda and a few other words too. None specifically, he just said she should have a “few words” on top of mamma and dadda. So now we feel the pressure lol!

  2. I don’t know about baby milestones, but I DO know that all babies do things in their own time. I don’t know why there has to be so much comparison. Babies don’t know about charts and norms. But that’s just my 2 cents.

    • I’ve been wondering after this last appt if I should move her elsewhere. My issue, and I’ll overcome it obviously if need be, is that he is my doctor as well. And Chiefs, and if we move Charlie I would feel uncomfortable continuing my care with him, so I’ll have to find someone new.

      Haha-I wasn’t calling peds drug pushers. I was talking about basically every other adult doc I’ve ever seen. My friend is a pediatric resident here, I might see if she has any recommendations.

      • My friend’s little girl was a booty scooter and she just wouldn’t crawl because she was so good at it. They ended up having to take her to Physio so she could learn how to crawl and from there she did progress to walking but it was all much later because of the scooting. I’m not saying to stop her scooting but in case you aren’t already it might be an idea to encourage crawling movements so it clicks in her mind. Just thought I’d pass that story on. It may not be an issue for you guys but I can share the info and you can just use or discard!

  3. Nope.

    Been through this with so many close friends, I can’t even begin to account for all the girls nights I sat and listened and tried to support my mama friends while at hey fretted and I wondered why we even have such strict milestones, when no kid ever seems to meet any of them.

  4. I’ll become obsessed with worry if i know key milestones so I’m avoiding stuff for now. So my thinking is don’t worry too much about it now. All kids develop differently and in my completely uneducated opinion, I really don’t think you should worry about it yet.

  5. All kids develop at their own rate. Kids with older siblings can go either way, they move faster to keep up or slower because more people tend to their needs. My first is 10 years older than my 2nd. They both performed that list at different rates. My first didn’t like books but loved baby Einstein videos. My second loves books and not the videos.
    You can look at Charlie and tell she’s bright and alert. She’s taking the world in before she conquers it. She’s going to do all those things in her own time.

  6. No. You don’t need to worry. Does your doc do a scorecard type of thing for development? If so, she just needs to be doing some of the items on the last, not all of them. Kids do different things at different times. Ansel just recently started waving and saying Mama in context, like a few weeks ago. He crawled early and cruises like crazy but was slow to roll.
    Also, doctors shouldn’t be telling you how to parent, which includes sleeping. Honestly, it they have no more expertise with that than anyone else. So if the sleep situation is working for you, just nod and smile.

  7. My little guy has been crawling a few weeks but only just started going to sitting from tummy. He progressed very fast from the creeping tummy crawl to regular crawl… Charlie might learn very fast! I think you have a really useful attitude– she’ll get there. There is so much variance in these population averages. I think your doc was misguided in his emphasis. She’s so adorable! We are also in the 2 wake up phase (not helped by a cold and the time change, WHY??!) but I have faith this will slowly change.

  8. He sounds insane. Doctors really get under my skin sometimes. She’s a 9 month old baby! She’ll do what she wants, when she wants. I hate all these rules. You can’t time baby milestones with such rigid precision. She’s a human not a robot. Bless you. She sounds perfect xxxx

  9. I think she’d fine. The 9 months thing is an average for those skills so many heakthy on track kids don’t hit them until later anyways. I don’t understand what he means by doing too much for her…

    I think you’re doing a great job and she is just fine.

  10. I think she sounds like she’s doing great! Your doc may not be great at communicating. I like to know what milestone to look for, but not be freaked out about it. Oliver was late at some things, early for others, every kid is. (Oliver is also small, it was my family that kept me freaked out over that one.)
    You’re her mama, you’re doing a great job.

  11. Babies are all different. Bruce is really physical and has met all of those milestones early (sitting unassisted at 5m, pulling to a stand and crawling at 6m, etc), but now, at almost 15 months, he still doesn’t really have any words. He’ll babble dadadadaa all day and if he’s really upset, he might babble mamamama, but that’s it. I’m not overly concerned about it because I know he’s learning (just yesterday, I asked him to point out things to me in a book and he was able to point out the dog, kitty, and banana). I AM dreading our upcoming appointment, though, because I feel like his ped isn’t going to be happy with it. I have heard that signing shows the same cognitive development as speaking so signs count as words. In that case, Bruce knows “milk” and “all done” and uses them all the time.
    Also, Bruce didn’t clap until he was over a year and still doesn’t sleep through the night. Charlie sounds fine to me.

  12. It took me a long time before I was able to tune out some of the things our pediatrician told us. Obviously I’m going to listen to them if my baby is sick, but they had a lot of antiquated ideas about sleep (they repeatedly told me if I was cosleeping after 4 months he’d NEVER leave my bed — and here we are at 2 btw, peacefully sleeping all night by ourselves.) Eventually when they asked how he was sleeping, I just said “great!” and stopped elaborating. All babies are different, and YOU would know if it was time to worry. Doctors are great, and very helpful, but they’re also still people with opinions and they can be wrong. You’re doing a great job!

  13. I’m not even a mum yet and I can tell you that this is nonsense and your kid is doing perfectly fine. I have a close friend whose 4 year old still wakes multiple times a night – your doctor would have a heart attack over it. Your little girl is beautiful and funny and smart from what you’ve shared in both texts and photos.

  14. I wouldn’t be to worried. Doctors can definitely cause us mommas to panic. But really, you know your kid the best, so if you weren’t worried before, I dont think you should be now.

    As far as books. Calvin at that age was getting MAYBE three a day(probably more like 1-2) but now gets like 30-40, half of which are go dog go! When they are able to pick one up and bring it to you, they’ll let their preferences be known. You are doing great, trust your gut:)

  15. Don’t drive yourself crazy, but it’s good to know what “milestones” they should be obtaining. It also helps you know what type of behavior to encourage (like putting her on the floor with a toy just out of reach to encourage crawling).

    My son has a speech delay, which we caught early because we were watching the milestones. A little speech and occupational therapy and I find myself telling to be quiet now and then. My point is – you’re probably fine, but even if there is a delay, a little occupational therapy never hurt anyone!

  16. She sounds within the normal range. Different kids do things at their own pace. As long as she’s progressing there’s nothing to worry about.

    PS You deserve mother of the year award for reading your 9 month old 2-3 books a night. Seriously

  17. Nope, if she’s happy and healthy, I wouldn’t worry too much about the other stuff yet. Every baby does things at their own pace, even two babies that come from the exact same Mom and Dad. 🙂

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