My Husband

I don’t know if I’ve ever painted a terribly accurate picture of Chief. He’s kind of a hard guy to nail down. I’ve never met anyone like him. He doesn’t talk a lot. I mean, we have discussion obviously, but he’s not one of those guys that needs to fill a silence. He has no moves. I mean that-the guy has NO MOVES. He is not smooth, except that he kind of is because he doesn’t CARE that he has no moves. You can take him or leave him and he’s pretty okay with that.

He’s kind of nerdy but not SUPER nerdy. He likes cars and motorcycles. He works pretty hard and is smart, but sometimes lacks common sense, like with money-but we’re working on it. He loves Charlie so much. They both just light up when they see each other.

He has never been the kind of guy to buy flowers or give compliments. If I ask him if he likes dinner he’ll say “Yeah, it’s good.” If I ask him what he thinks of my hair 0r my outfit he’ll tell me I look good, but he doesn’t volunteer that information. It’s sort of a constant point of aggravation. I don’t need to be fawned over, but the OCCASIONAL compliment that I don’t have to ask for would be great. I try to lead by example in this area, but it’s like trying to squeeze water from a rock. Oh well. It’s not fair to ask a person to change. Probably the biggest compliment he can give me is that he NEVER gets mad at me even though I do some pretty stupid and annoying stuff. I mean never. I’m sure he’s been mad at me maybe once or twice, but honestly I can’t remember it. When we fight it’s usually me fighting with a silent man (which in and of itself is a problem, but I digress).

I tell you this so that the point of my story here will have context.

The other night a friend put up one of those “Ask your spouse these questions without explaining anything” sort of quizzes. The baby was in bed and we were just lying there watching TV, so I figured why not. They were just dumb questions-nothing too serious.

Librarian: What makes me happy?

Chief: When Charlie is happy.

Librarian: What makes me sad?

Chief: When Charlie is crying.

Pretty straightforward stuff. Question 14 though, his answer to that one reminded me why I married him:

Librarian: Okay, question 14: What makes you proud of me?

Chief:  That’s easy. I’m so proud of you for quitting your job to stay home and devote yourself to Charlie on top of working two other jobs. I know how hard you worked for your library job-really hard. You worked REALLY hard for it, and you put up with a lot of crap to get it. I know it wasn’t easy to give it up and I know you miss it, but you do such an amazing job taking care of our daughter.

SO MANY WORDS. Seriously that is A LOT of words for him. And they were all so nice. I almost didn’t want to finish the quiz because I wanted to cry, but I also didn’t want to make a big deal of the niceness and scare him off from doing it again, so I went on with it and that was that.

But I wanted to blog about it so I wouldn’t forget it.


13 thoughts on “My Husband

  1. What a beautiful thing to say. You’ll have to tuck that away in the recesses of your brain for the next time you’re fishing for a compliment.

  2. Naw what an awesome answer. Actually I think I might know someone who is a little like your hubby… mine 🙂 The first 3 paragraphs sound very much like my husband. He is a little better on the talking though, he is one of the very few IT people who sits on the verge between introvert and extrovert 🙂
    Actually he recently told me he was proud of me without being prompted at all. He said he was so proud of me for quitting smoking and not cheating once, he said he was also proud and surprised that I had managed to control my temper throughout withdrawal too LOL. Such a sweetie.
    To what Chief said about you giving up work I would also add that I think it was an incredibly brave step. It is a huge thing to walk away from something you worked so hard for. It must have been a quite scary choice at the time, but huge kudos to you because from your posts I get the feeling it worked out as the right thing for your family 🙂

    • Aaw thank you so much! Sometimes I question if I’ve done the best thing for Charlie in that she doesn’t want to be around people that aren’t Chief or I. I wonder if I had put her in daycare if that would be better. But then my heart breaks at the thought of leaving her all day with anyone but me or Chief.

      I’m proud of you for those things too! I’ve never smoked but I know it must be a mighty powerful addiction to break or everyone would just stop because of how bad it is for you. Good for you-that takes super amazing will power and I’m so glad your husband acknowledged that!

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