I don’t know if I’ve ever painted a terribly accurate picture of Chief. He’s kind of a hard guy to nail down. I’ve never met anyone like him. He doesn’t talk a lot. I mean, we have discussion obviously, but he’s not one of those guys that needs to fill a silence. He has no moves. I mean that-the guy has NO MOVES. He is not smooth, except that he kind of is because he doesn’t CARE that he has no moves. You can take him or leave him and he’s pretty okay with that.
He’s kind of nerdy but not SUPER nerdy. He likes cars and motorcycles. He works pretty hard and is smart, but sometimes lacks common sense, like with money-but we’re working on it. He loves Charlie so much. They both just light up when they see each other.
He has never been the kind of guy to buy flowers or give compliments. If I ask him if he likes dinner he’ll say “Yeah, it’s good.” If I ask him what he thinks of my hair 0r my outfit he’ll tell me I look good, but he doesn’t volunteer that information. It’s sort of a constant point of aggravation. I don’t need to be fawned over, but the OCCASIONAL compliment that I don’t have to ask for would be great. I try to lead by example in this area, but it’s like trying to squeeze water from a rock. Oh well. It’s not fair to ask a person to change. Probably the biggest compliment he can give me is that he NEVER gets mad at me even though I do some pretty stupid and annoying stuff. I mean never. I’m sure he’s been mad at me maybe once or twice, but honestly I can’t remember it. When we fight it’s usually me fighting with a silent man (which in and of itself is a problem, but I digress).
I tell you this so that the point of my story here will have context.
The other night a friend put up one of those “Ask your spouse these questions without explaining anything” sort of quizzes. The baby was in bed and we were just lying there watching TV, so I figured why not. They were just dumb questions-nothing too serious.
Librarian: What makes me happy?
Chief: When Charlie is happy.
Librarian: What makes me sad?
Chief: When Charlie is crying.
Pretty straightforward stuff. Question 14 though, his answer to that one reminded me why I married him:
Librarian: Okay, question 14: What makes you proud of me?
Chief: That’s easy. I’m so proud of you for quitting your job to stay home and devote yourself to Charlie on top of working two other jobs. I know how hard you worked for your library job-really hard. You worked REALLY hard for it, and you put up with a lot of crap to get it. I know it wasn’t easy to give it up and I know you miss it, but you do such an amazing job taking care of our daughter.
SO MANY WORDS. Seriously that is A LOT of words for him. And they were all so nice. I almost didn’t want to finish the quiz because I wanted to cry, but I also didn’t want to make a big deal of the niceness and scare him off from doing it again, so I went on with it and that was that.
But I wanted to blog about it so I wouldn’t forget it.