Accountability and Pumping

Thank you all so much for all your helpful suggestions-I’m looking into a few of them while I decide how I want to handle this transition. I don’t want to rush into the wrong program because damnit I want it to stick this time, so I’m just looking into all of my options. As of right now I’m just being mindful of what I’m eating, using My Fitness Pal, exercising, and working on strength which is an area I’ve always neglected in the past. I want more kids. I know that for certain, and I’m barely strong enough for the one I’ve got.

Since my last post I’m happy to say that I’ve stayed on track preeeetty well. I power walked again yesterday which was hard and painful after the first day. Charlie loved it once again. it was also super humid so I was a sweaty mess, and when we got home it was time for Charlie’s nap and she insisted on nursing, so that added to the sweatiness. But we did it.

I also started the 30 Day Beach Body challenge. I sort of hate that terminology because I’m very much of the philosophy that if you have a body, and it’s at the beach, then you have a beach body. But it’s really just a core strengthening program and that’s what I desperately need. I’m so weak from two years of not taking care of myself/being pregnant/having a baby. It’s hard, and it hurts, and I suck at a bunch of the exercises (I KNOW my burpees aren’t good, and my thirty second plank was painful after two seconds), but I have two days under my belt. Tomorrow is day three and then a rest day.

I took a rest day on cardio today and will probably do some tomorrow. We’re having a yard work day so I could legit get by without doing actual “exercise” if I wanted to. I’m not going to push myself and overdo it.

Eating wise I’ve been good. I’ve had a few bite size pieces of chocolate, but calorie wise it’s negligible-like less than 50 calories a day. For lunch the last two days I’ve had a grilled cheese, tomato, and avocado sandwich on multigrain bread. I had yogurt with oats for breakfast this morning and a banana and chocolate milk. Tonight was burrito night and no way am I giving that up, so I just didn’t snack this afternoon. And the good news is that I feel like my energy levels are rising since I started all of this, which is definitely helpful.

So I’m still going. I guess Thursday will be my weigh in day since that’s when I started this week. I’m happy to say that I’m only 4 pounds over my prepregnancy weight. I’d like to lose  a total of 26 pounds. I’d like to lose 15 of them by Charlie’s birthday. This could be lofty-that’s only two months away, and I can’t go too hard and heavy on this because I’m still breastfeeding and supply is a priority, so I’ll be watching that.

Speaking of, my evening pump is getting more and more frustrating. I’m not getting a ton- 2-3 ounces in ten minutes. I know that’s a lot for a lot of folks and I’m not trying to be a jerk, but I used to get six ounces in that time. Charlie doesn’t take a bottle so I just pump for donation, which is what keeps me going. And it makes sense that it’s going down because Charlie is sleeping eightish hours a night now-why would my night supply stay high? But it’s like, I want those minutes of my life back but I’m afraid to drop the pump, and I committed to pumping to donate for a year. I mean, I only committed that to myself, but still-I want to uphold it. It’s just annoying to be getting so little. I know even an ounce is gold to a premie baby. Basically that’s why I keep doing it.

So anyway, that’s where we are right now. We had such a lovely evening with the happiest baby in the world. She was so squealy and giggly and wiggly-I just love when she’s super happy like that. She’s rarely unhappy, and that’s a gift.


17 thoughts on “Accountability and Pumping

  1. Pumping is a tough one. E dropped his middle of the night feeding and so I have been extra vigilant about pumping in the morning. I am so paranoid about my milk drying up even though I have an over supply. I have been paranoid about running out the whole time. I have been donating it. Right now though, my paranoia is preventing me from getting rid of the two gallons in my deep freeze. And really it wouldn’t be a big deal if my milk dried up. I think my milk anxiety is left over from IVF anxiety.

    • I totally have milk anxiety. TOTALLY. I probably have 1000 ounces in the deep freeze and I really need to take it, but I’m dealing with the same stuff-just afraid that I’ll get rid of it and then dry up.

      • My husband thinks I am nuts. He hasn’t even seen all the bags yet. He is very supportive of bfing but doesn’t understand why I worry about it so much because I have an oversupply. I just can’t shake it.

      • Me too. It is just panic inducing. And for no good reason. I kind of freaked out when E got four teeth at once at 7 months. I figured with six teeth, I’d be getting chewed on. So far, so goodish. I just didn’t think I’d have to think about stopping now and I don’t but my brain went into overdrive, thus the multiple gallons in my freezer. The funny thing is, I don’t have any time goal for bfing. I just wanted it to work and that was as far as my thought process got.

  2. Great job on starting to fix exercise back into your life and adding healthy meals in. I’ve started working on that this week also. Made it to the gym 4 days this week which was huge for me. Diet is where I fail consistently. If you need a support buddy, I’m here for you!

  3. I think it is awesome that you donate your milk. That is such a special thing to do!
    Good on you for the healthy lifestyle. I have been so very bad with this lately. Just truly terrible. Diet is my big downfall. I really need to work on this. Chocolate is my temptress. 🙂

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