Aggravated Librarian

The other offer expired, and that was good. Well, it expires in like an hour, but they turned it down-they were too far apart. So they’ve already written a counter offer to ours and it was us paying full asking, drop the contingency on our house selling, and they’ll pay our closing costs. And we said that yes, we would think it over for the night but we would probably accept that because we feel like we’re very close to selling our house.

THEN their agent calls my agent back and says that no actually they can’t afford that offer, and they’ll need to ask us to pay 159000, drop our contingency and they’ll pay our closing. They have boxed themselves so much into a corner that they can’t even pay closing costs without raising the price back up. 159000 is what the house was priced at two weeks ago by the way, and there is a reason we didn’t look at it then, because we knew we didn’t want to pay that much.

And I KNOW that the difference is negligible, but there are three problems:

1. I don’t have an offer on my house, so I don’t have any cash reserves to pull from on my house. I only have our savings that get us through month to month with me not working full time and staying home with the baby, so obviously I can’t risk that by paying closing. We’re already taking a risk by dropping our contingency AND paying so much more for a house than we had planned.

2. They’re basically asking me to finance their mistakes, and I don’t want to. It puts a really bad taste in my mouth. We love the house but I don’t want to go into it feeling bitter about it.

3. If she is so strapped that they can’t even pay closing on the house then good lord, what’s going to happen when something comes up in inspection that has to be fixed for the bank to approve the loan?

So I told our realtor they could send that offer over but we had already decided that 157500+them paying closing+dropping the contingency would be our counter, and if they said no we would walk away. I’m really aggravated and….well, aggravated.


Still waiting

I may die. The other offer should be expiring soon so then they can get to ours. Please please please.

I’m slightly frustrated. This lady apparently doesn’t want to budge on price hardly at all because she’s dropped it so much since she’s sat on the market for nine months. Here’s the thing about our market though-we’re no Denver. It’s a very cold market. Stuff sits. And you have to be smart about it. People expect negotiation. They expect you to pay closing. She doesn’t want any of that, but her realtor is trying to emphasize that she is going to have to do something to sell the house. We offered 9k under asking and paying closing as our first offer. We fully expect her to come back with somewhere around 1-2k under asking and paying at least part of our closing, which would be acceptable to us, but her realtor indicated to our realtor that she hasn’t left herself much room. Between what she owes and what she’s asking. It seems like she might end up losing money because she has it priced under what she purchased it for eight years ago.

I understand you might need to sell, but so do we and we’re not going to price ourselves out of a negotiating standpoint.

Real estate vent over.

Where we are right now

First of all, we’ve heard nothing from the folks yesterday, which is so disappointing. My realtor is going to touch base with them soon, but we don’t want to freak them out by checking in constantly. Meanwhile we have another showing tomorrow, so it does seem like things are picking up and my realtor is feeling really good about it. We must be priced right at this point.

We just signed an offer on a house. BUT NOT DREAM HOUSE. WHAT?! I know. ARE YOU CRAZY?! Maybe.

We went to see ten houses today. We saw dream house and we still liked it, but not as much. It was because we had a house to see today that had just come into our price range JUST BARELY. It’s technically out of it but we’re looking at it through the lens of they’ll come down a few thousand. Anyway. So we’re looking at it. We still feel good about it. But we can’t commit until we see this other house.

So we go to see it and we both just feel it. You know? IT. For one thing, we were standing on the front porch and a butterfly just wafts up to us and a dove has built a nest on top of a column (it’s been unoccupied for a while). Not a pigeon, or a crow, a dove. The sweetest, prettiest bird ever. But also butterfly. Charlie giggles. It’s a beautiful, 1926 Craftsman style brick. Instantly we walk into a parlor style room perfect for my baby grand with gorgeous restored hardwoods. Then the dining room with the built ins, and the kitchen that wraps around to the addition of a vaulted ceiling great room with a woodburning fireplace. Three bedrooms, one with skylights, and a loft sewing area for me. Plus a great backyard and a workshop attached to the carport.

We didn’t want to leave. We both felt like it was it, but we had all these appointments and we decided to keep them. We looked at everything else and nothing compared, so we had our realtor call their realtor to scope it out.

Heartbreak. They have an offer. BUT it was so low that the owners felt insulted and didn’t want to counter. Their realtor had convinced them to counter, but she feels that they’re so far apart there is no way they’ll come together on it, so she urged us to make our offer. The counter offer doesn’t expire until tomorrow so we have an agonizing night of wondering how this is going to go down. The counter could go through and we’d be dead in the water. The counter could be rejected but she may not want to accept a contingency. Or she could accept the contingency but instantly get another offer and use the kick-out clause, leaving us with a 48 hour window to decide if it’s worth the risk to try and carry both mortgages until our current house sells.

It sucks, it’s scary, and I feel like I could vomit. Please, please send us good vibes. We want this house for Charlie. It’s so perfect for us I could die. It’s in an awesome neighborhood, conveniently located, there are so. many. wins. I will seriously mourn this house if we lose it.

you guessed it…house stuff UPDATED

UPDATE: We heard from the folks who came to see the house today. They really loved the house and are still considering it. They have one concern. their son has down syndrome and they consider us to be close to the highway and apparently he has a habit of escaping from time to time (their realtor’s words-not mine. I sort of hate the word escape when we’re talking about kids) and they’re a bit nervous about it. I think in normal circumstances we’re not at all close to the highway-no one else has mentioned it, it’s streets away and takes me about ten minutes to walk to, but I can definitely understand how this is a different circumstance and worthy of concern. At any rate, they’re considering things and are supposed to let us know tomorrow.  Cue me not sleeping tonight!

Tomorrow we’re looking at 11 properties just to knock everything off of Chief’s list. He wanted to see 13 but there were two that I could tell by the listings were not an option to me- too small and too much work. Then when we’re done, if we haven’t found anything we want more, we’re putting an offer in on dream house. I’m really nervous that since we’re making a contingent offer they won’t take it, but the house has been on the market for over 400 days, so I’m hoping they will. I’m so anxious about it I could throw up. I check the listing every four hours or so to make sure they haven’t gotten an offer. I’ve already moved in in my head and remodeled the kitchen. Charlie’s room has tons of natural light and there’s going to be a lovely sitting area in front of the wood burning fireplace in the formal sitting room. Also, the master bedroom is finally big enough for us to have a king sized bed. HEAVEN.

In goodish news, we had a showing request today and the folks stayed for 45 minutes. It was odd. We stalk the house during showings because we want to know when we can get back in, so we drive the neighborhood and drive down a side street every 3-5 minutes. Today our showing was scheduled for 4:00. The realtor was there right at 4:00, and then a lady showed up at 4:10. Chief told me that he had seen the lady’s car drive by around 3:45 really slow like and look at the sign, so it’s weird that she was late when she was obviously in the neighborhood. Then around 4:30, a man showed up. They didn’t leave until right before 5:00. That is by far the longest showing we’ve had yet. I confess I was really hoping for an offer tonight, but hopefully my realtor will have some news tomorrow. We put up a sign listing off what we’re about to do in the backyard so that hopefully they wouldn’t be turned off by it like the other folks were and my realtor also called their realtor today to explain that whole situation.

I do feel like we’re in the right price point now that we’re getting 1-2 showing requests a week. It would be so wonderful to make an offer tomorrow on dream house and already have an offer on ours. The timing of that would be so lovely…

Update on Real Estate.

Chief has agreed to place a contingent offer on dream house as long as I go look at a few more that he wants to see. I’m down with that. God willing no one makes a competing offer without a contingency after ours is accepted (please accept!) and if they do basically I’ll beg my rich aunts to help me cover the mortgage on our current house until it sells. Luckily it’s not a big mortgage, but big enough to be a problem.

We also heard that the people who looked on Sunday loved the house but hated the backyard because my dogs have basically destroyed it, so my realtor is telling them to not let that deter them because we will either fix it ourselves or give them a credit off of the house to pay to have it done. Probably we won’t hear anything from them again, but now we know the backyard is probably turning people off so we’re going to address it ASAP, like this week.

House Anxiety

Guys, I’m not set out for the real estate game.

Seriously. We’ve lowered our price again. It’s now been slashed $10K total. It’s now 10K below a similar house that sold two blocks away that was smaller than ours and not remodeled.

And yet we can’t get a buyer. We’ve had 6 showings in 70 days, plus one couple came to our open house a while back. We can’t get any real feedback. What we hear constantly is people like it but they just started looking or they decided our suburb was too far out. I didn’t expect it to happen overnight, but I really didn’t expect this either.

We had a couple with two young children just a bit older than Charlie come yesterday and they stayed for all of eight minutes. That’s got to be our shortest showing yet. Most of the last at least 10-15 minutes. The one last weekend lasted 20. So what gives? My agent believed we were priced fairly with the first price drop and that now it should be a bargain, but I’m already considering dropping it again.

And it wouldn’t be as bad if I didn’t have a house I desperately want so much that for the last two nights I’ve had a hard time falling asleep thinking about how there is literally no other house on the market that is big enough and laid out right for our price range, and surely we’re going to lose this one if we can’t get an offer soon. I’m so desperate that I would probably accept a lowball offer from a real estate investor just to be done. I’ve even thought about contacting one but I don’t know how to go about it really.

I’ve tried so hard to convince Chief to let us put a contingent offer in on the dream house, but he wants to wait, and let’s be honest-a contingent offer is only good until another offer comes along and then they could drop us like a hot potato.

Selling our house feels much like infertility in one way-just one. When I was in the trenches I always thought, if I just knew it would happen eventually I could be content with that. That’s how I feel about the house too.

I guess my biggest fear is that eventually our house will sell and when it does dream house will be gone and we’ll have to settle. I have a baby and seven pets. I can’t stay in a hotel for a few weeks or even with family. I have to have somewhere to go.

So if you have good vibes, prayers, happy thoughts-anything to spare, please send them my way and hope for an offer soon.

Friendship doesn’t really get easier

I am concerned that I may have lost one of my best friends, and I’m also mad about it because if I have the reason behind it sucks.

I haven’t talked about it on the blog because the internet is just this giant echo chamber of awful lately and I haven’t really had the words to say it all, but I’m just going to throw my feelings out really quick. The shootings of unarmed black men (or even armed, but non violent black men) by police are horrifying, unacceptable, upsetting, scary, not okay-all the words. Seriously all the bad words you can think of.

I am a white woman. I respect law enforcement. I respect that they have very hard jobs. But I also recognize that because of this they should be held to a higher standard and if you are racist or more afraid of one race than the other, then you should check yourself before you enter that career field, and our testing and standards for law enforcement in this regard and many regards should be higher. I believe there are many, many more good police officers than there are bad, but just because of this it doesn’t mean we can just accept the corrupt and murderous intentions of the bad ones.

And I am so sorry that this makes the officers who are literally just trying to do their jobs safely every day feel bad, persecuted, and put upon. And I can’t ever say that I identify with how it feels to be black in this country because how could I? But I would imagine that they feel bad, persecuted, and put upon quite often as well.

So, when this all started getting stirred up on social media again i was very outspoken about my belief that Black Lives Matter, that All Lives Matter is not okay, etc. etc. But I was also pretty outspoken about what i said above-Police are generally good people, I believe in them and respect them, etc. etc.

When the shooting  of police in Dallas happened, I directly texted my best friend M, who is a police officer, to tell him this:

“I’m so sorry M. I’m in tears so I imagine things probably feel pretty rough for you. You know I’m always on your side.”

I never heard anything back. His wife, who used to “like” every single picture of Charlie I put up on facebook no longer does. Neither of them has spoken to me or Chief. Maybe they’re just busy and staying off the internet, but I feel like M and L think that because I support BLM I no longer support them. And that makes me sad and angry all at the same time. Sad that I’ve lost a friend and angry that they can’t understand why I feel the way I do, or at least accept it and understand that I’m not calling M a bad police officer.

M is a good police officer. I brag about him all the time. He makes genuine efforts to treat everyone fairly, and he cuts people a lot of slack, especially on first time offenses. Unless he’s just blatantly lying to me, he let’s a lot more people off the hook than he arrests, and that includes people of all races. He’s not a jackass cop either. He’s a sweet man. That’s why he’s one of my best friends.

But he has been outspoken to me before about how he thinks that BLM makes thing worse and I’m sure that after Dallas he blames me and everyone out there supporting BLM. i don’t agree with that, but I figure that’s his perspective. So where does that leave us? I’m not going back on my feelings. I support BLM. I support police. I want effective change for our country. I want peace. Lately I haven’t been posting as much about BLM but that’s not because of M and L, but mostly because I’m so exhausted emotionally that I’ve been distancing myself just a little bit from everything political. I’m starting to dive back in because I know that there are a lot of people who don’t get to take a break from the pain and heartbreak of racial injustice.

But I also don’t know what to do about M. I reached out and got nothing back. Not even angry words. Just nothing. So I’ve been leaving it, but the longer it goes the more it hurts. We talked long and hard about them being Charlie’s god parents. We’ve talked long and hard about making them her guardians in the event that we die (we still haven’t decided between several candidates on this, which we really need to do). We love them like family-better than we do our own blood siblings. So this rift (if it’s a rift) is really hurtful.

What would you do?