It’s been almost a week since I started taking antidepressants for the first time to treat my PPD/PPA.
I think things are better. I tried to sit and think about it today, and I do feel like I’ve had much less anxiety this past week, and I haven’t cried any since the day I got the diagnosis (which i did cry about). Sometimes I feel a little muted, like a color that isn’t as vibrant anymore, and I know that sounds bad, but most of the time it feels better than being so manic and stressed all the time, even if my highs are a little less high than they were before.
Unfortunately though, it’s not perfect. The medicine makes me tired. I started out taking it at night and the first few nights what would happen is that I would wake up VERY easily and very early and not be able to fall back asleep. I woke feeling rested even though I had only slept 4-5 hours. Normally I would be exhausted and go right back to sleep OR have an anxiety episode and worry all morning. Instead what it had me doing was getting up and going to work or working around the house. I showed up at the law firm a little before 6:00 am one day. What this meant was that by mid afternoon I was exhausted and ready for bed. So i switched and starting taking it at night. The first night I had really weird and disturbingly violent dreams, but luckily that has so far been isolated. However, I’m now feeling a low-mid grade fatigue all day instead of a heavy, heavy fatigue late afternoon.
I’m going to try drinking coffee to see if that’ll help beat it, because so far it’s the only side effect and if that’s it then I feel like I’m getting off easy. Unfortunately with raising a toddler, it’s a difficult side effect to live with. I was hardcore yawing by 10:00 am this morning and Charlie even slept late, meaning I got a full eight hours last night.
So if I had to give week one a grade, I would say it’s an A-/B+.