Digestive issues have ironed out which is good. Chief and I both agree that I’m much more level. The worries are still there, but like today I was worried about the old house and getting it ready for renting, and instead of fretting over it I just got out of bed and said to Chief that we needed to go over there and start getting the stuff that’s left and take pictures of the furniture we want to sell (already sold a set of barstools and have leads on a rocking chair and cabinet tomorrow!) The old me would have just worried it to death but I’m trying to be optimistic about this. I didn’t want to rent it, but I did some research and it looks like we’ll make so much that I don’t mind paying 10% to a property manager so that I don’t have to do the legwork and deal with any potentially unsavory eviction issues.
So, anyway, that diverged into a discussion of the house but it was a good example of my brain on antidepressants vs my brain without. The problem is this fatigue. It is real and heavy and sometimes overwhelming. I have never yawned so deeply I don’t think. Like I don’t remember being this tired when Charlie was born. I’m still just trying to push through on it. Yesterday I took a nap at 9:00 am. I had only been awake for two hours and was that tired. My kid sleeps through the night. I can’t even imagine how tired I would be if she didn’t.
In other news, Charlie is on her first course of antibiotics. We took her to the doctor last Monday because she had been sick for 12 days. I try not to rush her to the doctor for everything but once we went past 10 days I figured it was worth a check. At the time the doctor said that some of these viruses are really long lasting and the symptoms can stretch 3-4 weeks, but that she did have fluid behind her ears and they were both red. However, she was not exhibiting symptoms of an ear infection at that time, so she called in amox.icillin but said she would prefer we watch and wait before giving it, as antibiotics are so overly prescribed right now and a lot of times these minor infection will clear up on their own.
So that’s what I did. Tuesday and Wednesday passed fairly uneventfully, but Wednesday night Charlie was hysterical at bedtime. She did NOT want to lay down. I tried everything-nursing, rocking, five minute checks. She finally fell asleep but it was an hour of me going in and out and her just crying. She had been given advil and she wasn’t acted like anything actually hurt, so I didn’t really know what to think, but she did bang her head against the side of the crib which really freaked me out. Then Thursday night she did the same thing, and I ended up successfully rocking her to almost asleep and was able to lay her down after that. Then, as I was sitting in my room an hour later it occurred to me to look up the head banging. Bam. Clear sign of an ear infection, especially when paired with fussiness and a cold.
Damnit. Cue a slight amount of panicking that we had progressed to a full on infection for several days that wasn’t being treated. We started the amox the next morning and now (Monday) she seems to be feeling much better. She HATES the meds, but we have six more days unfortunately. If chief isn’t there to hold her arms down I have to swaddle her in a towel to get it down her throat. I really hate doing it. Especially in the morning when she is SO happy.
Mothers Day Out is a battle. She’s still going one day a week and it’s not getting better yet. The first week she did great. The second week she cried intermittently. The third week she cried the entire time and didn’t eat. I’m hoping this was partly because of feeling bad. Tomorrow is week four. I didn’t go to her drop off last week because it was the day of great stomach distress and I’m dreading dropping her off tomorrow. Week two she ran after me SOBBING. That was hard. Really really hard. It makes me want to throw in the towel but if I do that now how much harder is it going to be in a year when she does preschool every day and I go back to work? And also, selfishly, I really like my Tuesday mornings. I can have lunch with friends and lay in bed watching TV and NAP. OMG the naps guys. I’m such a better mom for it by Tuesday afternoon. She cries every time I pick her up. She does cuddle with the teachers and likes being rocked by them, so that’s a small consolation, but I just hate the idea of her crying for five hours while I’m laying in bed watching talk shows. It IS going to get better, right?