I need to rant. And I can’t do it full out on facebook for reasons, so I’m doing it here. Multiple ranty things:
1. At family dinner on Monday my mom told me that I along with the other staff (as opposed to attorneys and secretaries) were being forced out of our offices. We all work right in a row because that just makes sense. All of our jobs typically coordinate with each other.
One of the partners at the firm basically, without asking us or anyone, promised our offices to a bunch of corporate lawyers at XYZ corporation where she also works. She splits her time between there and here. They are of course paying rent, but they need them for six months while they’re in construction so they won’t be inconvenienced by having to, well, work while construction is going on.
So that sucks. We’re all being moved all over the building. We won’t even be allowed to walk through our old office space while they’re there, and then in six months they’ll move us back. Fucking ridiculous. But no one asked us. Even the office manager has no say. And it all happened so fast that yesterday they packed up and moved my office without my there for any input or organization. I’m on the third floor basically away from everyone I need to work with. Again, sucks. But, I’m trying to make the best of it.
To make things worse, we also have to find a place for all our clients files that live down stairs. I have a small library that barely holds any current books. I told the office manager that I could move the books not being used from that library up to the third floor library where there is lots of room. This would free up half the room for file cabinets. So we did that. In a super huge hurry. And then I helped Accounting pack up all the files that needed to be moved.
Right when i was done with that, the office manager comes back downstairs and told me that one of the attorneys was upset and didn’t want filing cabinets in a room that HE NEVER GOES INTO FOR ANYTHING. He said it would look bad to not have books in there. Y’all, when you picture this room in your head, picture a room that I guarantee is smaller than your bedroom. It’s basically a large-ish storage closet that we held spill-over books. Anyway, he says that it actually doesn’t bother him but he KNOWS it will bother someone else and I should have sent an email. So Office Manager comes downstairs to tell me this (and she’s frustrated too) and says I’ll have to move the books back and she doesn’t know what to do with the filing cabinets.
I basically said “Yeah I’m not moving those books back.” The books are still accessible, they’re JUST on another floor in the big library that actually IS a library. and, for that matter, they’re business journals from the seventies. THE EFFING SEVENTIES. So I sent an email to every attorney and told them what I did and said that if there were any books they were still using that they wanted moved back, then they could let me know, but otherwise here’s where the books were.
And magically, NO ATTORNEYS HAVE COMPLAINED. Because those books were old. And not being used.
But I did have to unpack all the accounting files I had just packed. The office manager offered to do it for me since she’s the one who asked me to do it, but I needed to work off some rage energy.
So my job there which provides me very little if any professional fulfillment, is a fucking nightmare right now. Night.Mare.
2. Despite doing a lot better with this lately, I ate my crappy feelings at lunch. And that makes me feel crappy all over.
3. I’m doing some pet sitting for a family i’ve pet sit for many times, and today the damn dog would not come in. Would not. I ended up staying 20 minutes over time having to lure him the house and by that point I had had it with my day.
4. I’m in a sewing group on FB that’s called “Curvy Sewing for Everyone!” As the name implies, it’s supposed to be an inclusive sewing group for people of a larger nature. Fine. Good. Then a few days ago a member complained about another group she was in for curvy sewing and how she didn’t feel like the people who were posting were fat enough to be in there. I’m going to use the word fat-not as an inflammatory word but just as a real word with a real meaning, so don’t think I’m being aggressive with it. It started a discussion that quickly spiraled into thin shaming women in the group who are around my size, 14-20 size range. I’m wearing a 16-18 these days, and frankly, my best weight loss efforts are failing me. I’ve been working really hard, and I’m not losing weight, which has me hella concerned about my health (and part of me eating my feelings at lunch today). I’m going to all the doctors in the next few days, so that’s to be continued in another post.
Anyway, this member and several others basically wanted to kick everyone out of “Curvy Sewing for Everyone!” who doesn’t meet a criteria that was TBD. The admin did not really want to do that, but she set up a survey to get opinions from the group. I answered the survey and wasn’t going to comment on the post, but then I saw a comment criticizing a woman who was about my size and her thoughts on the matter. The person criticizing her said that if she was determined to not be “fat enough” for the group then she should feel good because she had the “rest of the world to play in.”
Guys, I’m sorry, but that’s just not true. Do you think a day in my life has gone by that I haven’t felt too big for this world? Never in my life would I have expected to be skinny shamed at a size 18. So I basically just said that I disagreed with that statement, and asked if those of us who are plus sized but not on the biggest end of the spectrum aren’t allowed in a plus sized group, then what? Should we open a mid level plus size group? And what happens if we gain weight, then are we allowed back in? If they lose weight will they get kicked out? Then I was told that I needed to check my “thin privilege” at which point I messaged an admin very calmly with my feelings and let her know I was removing myself from the group at this time because it no longer felt like a safe space for me, and I didn’t feel like I could post my sewing in there at this time.
In “Curvy Sewing for Everyone!”
Just let that sink in.