A few things

I wanted to thank most of the people who commented on my last post. I’ve made it private now because it dealt with familial distress. I’ve made it sort of a personal policy over the last few years of blogging to try and remember to do this. I was interested to hear opinions on this issue though, even once that didn’t necessarily jive with my own.

But let me make this clear-I’m not going to put up with bullying on my blog. Either bullying of me or anyone else. I got a pretty hateful comment that basically said I’m the problem with my family issues. I’m the only one to blame. I could spend a lot of time refuting that but that gives such a comment a lot more weight than I think it deserves, so I’m just going to leave it. I honestly don’t understand what kind of person it takes to be so hateful to someone you’ve never even met. Try to keep that to yourself from now on. It won’t be tolerated here.

And, for those of you who read my last post, the issue resolved in a fairly positive way after my husband and I sat down and discussed how best to handle things. So I’ve moved on from that.

A few other things:

1. My mom had a hysterectomy today. She had a prolapsed uterus that was causing bladder problems, so since she’s 64 our OBGYN (we all use the same one) recommended just going ahead and removing it. It’s weird though, my mom has never had surgery. The only time she’s spent a night in the hospital was to have my sister and I. I’ve never seen her in any real amount of pain and she has a pretty high tolerance, so it felt alarming that she was so nervous about this. I mean, totally justified of course, but I’m just used to her being so strong and confident about most things that I felt really insecure about her having surgery because she was insecure. I also wanted to call her about three different things today and then realized that I couldn’t because she was sleeping off the surgery at the hospital. It gave me a tiny taste of what it might feel like when she’s gone someday and I gotta say, I don’t like it. I’m ready for her to be healed. I don’t like my mom not being strong and ready for anything like she usually is.

2. When I got all those crappy positive/not positive tests a few weeks ago I called my OBGYN and asked the nurse about it. She talked to my doctor and he said that it actually sounded like a very slight chemical pregnancy to him but there was no way to be sure without doing a blood test. They offered to do one and I declined. I actually don’t really want to know.

3. Metformin has been so much better. Today is my first day on three doses because the last week on two doses a day has been uneventful. Also, I got my period, at a normal time of the month, and it started and ended within four days. No 10-12 day cycle this month. No entire week of spotting beforehand. It’s entirely possible that this is going to be worth it.

4. The inspection on the house went well, but I was a nervous wreck. It happened last Wednesday and we didn’t hear anything until Friday which is bonkers to me. It also doesn’t help that our realtor is representing them as well (a mistake I will not make in the future) so even when she knew things she couldn’t tell us. At the end of the day though, everything they’ve asked for is costing us less than $200, mostly because I have talented family. They wanted the flashing around the chimney replaced and my stepdad worked through college as a roofer, so that’s easily done. The bathroom fans had to be replaced and my BIL is an electrician and is doing it in exchange for me making a new white top for my sister to do livestock shows in (for some bizarre reason white is the required color to show goats. who freaking knew?). The exhaust valve on the water heater wasn’t properly (or ever) hooked up, but my dad knows how to do that so he’s taking care of that. The bathroom floor in the master bathroom needs to be replaced, but it’s 25 square feet of linoleum, so that’s costing us $30 and a few hours of my husbands time. So we got really lucky. They could have asked for more and didn’t.

Now we just need it to appraise appropriately and we’ll be all set. We’re scheduled to close April 28th and my goal is to have all the work on the house done by next Friday (the 21st).

5. After we get the check from the closing we’re getting a new garage door for our new house because it’s wearing out. We’re also having a tree cut down and it’s stump as well as another stump ground up. They’re majorly interfering with my gardening. Finally, we’re setting some money aside to do a few minor things to the kitchen and take a small family vacation this summer. We talked about just Chief and I flying to California or Alaska, but even my mom who is always hankering for an excuse to watch Charlie said that she thought we would miss her too much, which I agree with. We’ve decided to stay a bit closer to home and go on a car trip about six hours away. We also have family we can stay with there so not having to pay for a hotel or plane tickets saves a few grand.

We also get to pay off a mountain of credit card debt with the money. Between losing this house payment and all the credit cards that are about to be paid off, we’re going to save about $1500 a month, which is good, because we couldn’t sustain paying that much for much longer.

6. I’m saving up for a new embroidery machine. The one I want is about $1500 and my goal is to save $150 a month. I have an embroidery machine that’s a good little fellow, but the largest embroidery area is 4 in x 4 in, and that just doesn’t get you very far. The new one I want is a Janome as well and Janome is my favorite brand of machine that I’ve ever sewn on. $1500 sounds like a lot but it’s really a modest sum in the grand scheme of a good embroidery, and the embroidery area on this one is 8 in x 8 in-a vast improvement. I’m trying to be patient about it but of course now that I’ve picked it out I want it NOW. Of course I’m tempted to ask Chief if I can use some of the house money for it, but it’s such an extravagance that I feel better about saving up for it. I’ve also thought about doing a fundraiser for it where I would sell homemade sewn items with all of the proceeds going to the purchaseĀ of the machine, but I feel so weird asking people for money, even in exchange for products.

I think that’s everything for now. Happy Monday.

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11 thoughts on “A few things

  1. I’m glad your last post’s issue resolved, and I truly hope that whatever I commented on it didn’t upset you. I don’t remember what I said, but I don’t think it was mean? If it came off that way, I’m sorry! I hope your mom heals quickly and is feeling okay. I think it’s pretty normal to be nervous or scared about any kind of surgery really. I’m really, really sorry about your #2, I’ll leave it at that. So happy to hear you’re doing better with the meds though! That’s great news!! And hooray for the house news!!! Such a relief, I’m sure!! One less stress to have to deal with going forward…well, lots less stress really since it’ll help with bills. Congrats!!

  2. I know it is really hard to hear suggestions that differ from your own and as someone who doesn’t know you it is very easy to provide suggestions over the web since I don’t have to say it to you directly. I do hope that you weren’t offended by my comments but I am trying to come at it from a different place than you. Our son was born having only one remaining grandparent and he lost her when he was just 3 1/2 years old. He did not get to spend a lot of time with his grandmother as she was 10 hours away and the little bit of time he did spend with her I look back on with fond memories. We also did not have the technology that we do today (22 years ago now). I value grandparents and what they can bring to our childrens lives. At the end of the day though if it is a toxic relationship that will never change you as the parent are the only one that can decide what is best for your child.

    After reading your post above I am so very happy to hear that you were able to sit down with Chief and discuss your situation rationally and come to a good outcome for both of you. After reading several of your last few posts and how discouraged you were it is nice to read this post and finally hopefully have some good news in your life.

  3. A little late for this but I only just saw the last post (it was in my email). Here’s what I do and I admit to being a bit anal about it (but that’s sort of info/lib sci normal). I have different groups on Facebook I post to. I have one group for hard core political stuff I don’t feel like potentially arguing about. Other political posts go to everyone. I often don’t post to “acquaintances” and I censor older relatives out of posts with foul language. But photos of my kid always go to everyone (friends that is, not public). Whatever feud I might be having with anyone, my kid will not be used in it. I’m not saying you are intentionally using her that way, but unless you want to completely cut her out of her grandfather’s life (which sound like it could be justifiable) I would recommend not putting her (photos) in the middle of your relationship with them. Just my $0.02.

    • It wasn’t necessarily my intention to use her that way-I just got so frustrated with being so disrespected that I kept him from seeing everything and her pictures were a consequence of that. I do sort of stand by the stance of it sucks that I’m the only one of the two of us that’s apparently on the hook for keeping him in the loop, but apparently that’s how it is. My husband actually called him of his own volition BEFORE we sat down and talked about it and his dad was really belligerent and basically said he didn’t want to change his behavior. Even so, I decided to let him back in and chief warned him that if he can’t be respectful of me in the most basic way of not attacking what I believe when I post it in my space then he would no longer be a welcome part of my life.

      Things with them are complex. Chiefs brother doesn’t want to have anything to do with them anymore. It’s all just….complex.

      • Yeah, I suspected as much. And, like I said, I am admittedly anal about my different FB groups. But I found out the hard way (accidentally) that not letting everyone see pics of my kid created more problems than it solved. I wish you luck with the in-laws. They sound…challenging.

      • Also, I hear you on being the one who communicates with the in-laws. I am in the middle of my own in-law shit now and it’s hella annoying that I have to do it instead of him.

  4. Just wanted to say hi. Glad you’re feeling better! Hope it stays that way. In laws suck, but sewing is good, so keep sewing. I seriously support the fundraising idea. Hope your mom is doing well today.

  5. This is what happens when I get way behind on reading everyone’s blogs. I’m glad that whatever the issue was, it was resolved fairly positively and I’m sorry you had a not nice person try and say it was your fault…clearly not someone that’s been paying attention to your blog for a long time! Yay for getting closer to closing. I hope the appraisal comes back as expected and all goes well with that.

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