The Work Conundrum continues

I’ve been applying for jobs. I’m trying to only apply for jobs that I’m really interested in. It’s one of the points of me starting to apply for jobs nine months before I actually need to get back to work.

I’ve applied for a lot of librarian jobs and received absolutely zero interviews. Most of them were jobs I was overqualified for-like they wanted someone with a high school diploma and a few years of library experience. I have a masters degree and 10+ years of library experience.

This was starting to hit me pretty hard and make me worried that my career had been completely shuttered by me taking a few years off to stay home with my daughter EVEN THOUGH I’ve been working part time at the law firm that entire time as a librarian and therefore have that on my resume.

I had started to branch out to look at other public service positions. One came open with Chief’s unit. It’s called a Yellow Ribbon Integration Specialist-it’s basically like a counselor type position to help soldiers transition from active duty to guard and civilian lifestyle. It sounds worthwhile and meaningful. The starting pay is a little low, but I would be on base and have federal benefits and if the hours would work it could be really great for us.

But then last night I saw that the most exclusive and shmancy private school in town is hiring a middle school librarian. Y’ALL. School hours? Summers off? Working with youths which I’ve been doing my ENTIRE career? Where do I sign? I just so happen to know the upper school librarian at this place so I messaged her last night and she is supposed to call me tomorrow because they’re having a meeting about exactly what they’re going to be looking for in a candidate. The best part of all is that since it’s a private school my MLIS is perfectly acceptable, meaning I don’t need a teaching degree with a school library media masters degree.

THAT’S the job I want. Obviously. But it’s also going to be the job that everyone in town wants, including other school librarians who have a lot more experience working in a school than I do. I want it so much that I’m already disappointed because I feel like I’m not going to get it. Chief keeps telling me that I have as good a shot as anyone and I want to believe that, but my self esteem has taken a hit from being a SAHM.

A huge conundrum is that I have a phone interview for the on base job tomorrow. I’m afraid that IF I’m offered this position I’ll have to make a judgement call about whether to take it or to pass on it to try for the other one. Frankly, that’s what I’m leaning towards. That is the WHOLE POINT of me starting to apply so early-I want to take the time to find the right job. But the idea of passing up on an offer seems crazy.

The problem is, in my head, I already work at that school.

Damnit.

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