Hard Choices

I need to babble for a bit.

I had a phone interview today for the job on base and it sounds like a great job. I’m just going to list some pros and cons:


  1. Pay is equal to what I was making at the library, and actually maybe a bit higher. It was really low but if you don’t take the benefits package (which I don’t need because I have awesome benefits through Chief’s work) they up your rate of pay by almost $5.00 an hour.
  2. The hours would jive with Chief’s perfectly, meaning he could stay home with Charlie during the day and I could just pick her up from his office when he starts his shift. No need for anymore daycare or anything and she could stay at her current MDO all the way through their preschool program.
  3. Fulfillment wise, this job sounds perfect for me. I would be helping families through their soldier’s deployments, and helping those soldiers when they come home. I can’t imagine work more fulfilling than that.
  4. It’s not a library job, but it is a public service job, so I thiiiiiink it would count towards my public service loan repayment.


  1. I don’t start accruing PTO for a year, so any time off before then is unpaid. Allowed, but unpaid.
  2. It’s not a library job. Am I really ready to give up that career? It might be even harder to break back into it if I take a job that has nothing to do with it-what if I really regret that?
  3. They want me to start May 1 if I get the job. I’d lose this whole last summer with my baby girl. I don’t have to go back to work yet. It’s optional. The job at the school if I get it I figure I’d work for about a month and then we’d have the school holiday, so I’d get the summer off to spend with Charlie and Chief.

I got an email yesterday from the school asking for a phone interview. I sent them some times I’m available and haven’t heard back. My inside connection told me last week that they have an interview today and it’s the only candidate (besides me) that they’re considering, so it’s entirely possible that interview will go so well that they won’t even want to talk to me. The base job almost seems like a done deal. I have a second phone interview on Tuesday of next week but he acted like I was a prime candidate and the last one was just a formality. He said if it went well I’d probably get an offer within 24 hours. That only gives me one last week with my baby girl before going back to work.

Am I crazy guys? I mean it was my choice to start applying for jobs and now I’m having all these regrets. It’s been so hard to watch former work colleagues progress in their career and to be so static, but if I take this job on base I’m embarking on a whole new career. It sounds like a great job doing important work, but am I going to regret leaving my daughter before I have to? And on the other hand, if I opt to not take it if it’s offered to me, am I going to regret not taking a good job with great hours when it was offered to me if I can’t find something like it down the line? Jobs like that do NOT exist within the public library world, which is why I’ve been looking more private sector, but private sector librarian jobs are also freaking impossible to get.

I know I’m counting so many chickens before they’re hatched, but I can’t help myself. I have to run through the possibilities, and probably will, for the next week.

What would you do? Weighing all this information I really want your honest opinions.


6 thoughts on “Hard Choices

  1. If it was me, I would keep all of this in the back of your head, but wait to hear from the school. Is there any way you can contact them other than email? When did you email them your available times? Can your friend maybe give you an idea of when they would want to talk to you? Fingers crossed that you will be able to talk to them before next Tuesday, so you have more info to go on. On the up side, if it sounds like they’re only considering 1 other person at the school, then you have a 50/50 chance of being offered that job. And if after your phone interview Tuesday with the base, if you haven’t gotten any further word from the school, will you be able to tell the base that you have another offer on the table and need a couple days to consider your options? Sorry I know this is a lot of questions, just trying to help! You can message me if you need to talk/vent if you want to!

    • I just emailed my times last night, so I expect to hear something today, though i suppose it’s possible they’ll like th person they interviewed today so much that they’ll just hire them and not fuss with me. I had the discussion with my husband about whether or not I could ask for a day or two to weigh my options and i know it’s an acceptable thing to ask, but he said they need to get this position filled asap so they may not have the time to give me. my mom says in that case I would just have to take it and then rescind my acceptance if the school one comes through, but that feels like an awful thing to do :-/ Thank you for your input!

      • That was going to be my next thought. We had to deal with a lot of this while B was looking for a new job last year…for different reasons, but same issue. He took his current job with the same mentality…if one of the other 2 he was waiting to hear back from came back with better offers, he would back out of the one he accepted…or let them know he got an offer with better terms, and they could match/beat those if they wanted to. It’s just something you have to do sometimes, even if you feel crappy doing it. Ultimately you have to do what’s best for you and your family. If they need to find someone else to fill the position, they will, there’s always someone else out there wanting a job. There’s not someone else that can be mom/wife for your family.

  2. This does sound like a very tough situation. But it also sounds like one in which you can’t really lose.

    Suppose you take the base job, and it turns out to be everything in the pros and more. It sounds like a great scheduling and could potentially be really fulfilling. Win!

    Suppose you take the base job, and realize it’s not the thing for you. Since you weren’t in a position where you NEED to have a job, you aren’t necessarily in the worst of positions if you need to say “this was the wrong decision,” and quit. Win!

    Suppose you don’t take the job. You’ve got your summer together with Chief and Charlie, and can go back to the job hunting at your leisure. Win!

    If it were me, I’d take the job (if it were offered). But that is driven in large part by the fact that I went stir crazy at home with a small child and NEEDED to be back working for my sanity. So what I would do in your situation isn’t anywhere near as relevant as what you will do.

    Good luck with the decision!

  3. I think the other gals responding have good questions and thoughts on this. I will just say this, what ever is meant to happen, will happen. Just trust your gut and don’t over think! Stand back and just look at what feels right. You have your heart set on this school job being perfect but what if you interview and think, nope, not for me. That could happen too. Don’t be afraid to take a leap into the base job though. You are honestly in such a great position right now to really tackle your dreams in one form or another it sounds like:)

  4. A good friend of mine was looking for counseling jobs in our local school system, and no one was hiring for months. She finally accepted a position with a private sector company doing something administrative, and three weeks later got an offer from the school she really wanted to work for. I know it’s not ideal, and she did feel tremendously guilty, but she told them she’d received a better offer and couldn’t pass it up. If it were me, I’d take the base offer if it came through, and then just wait and see.

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